How Badly Does Conservative Spooge Bucket Kevin McCullough Want to Fuck Barack Obama?:
Judging by McCullough's latest "column" for the right-wing louse infestation known as Townhall.com, the answer to that question is "Pretty fuckin' badly." Titled "Obama: First Gay President?", McCullough's strange journey into his own latent homosexual desire seems predicated on his "prediction" that Barack Obama will be president: "I was the first pundit in America to predict that Barack Obama would be president in 2009." You got that? It's not that big a leap to think that what McCullough is truly desiring is a "pre-dicking" by Obama, with the Democratic candidate as the top, the "president," if you will. Or, as McCullough writes, "A prediction, I admitted at the time, pained me greatly."

See, McCullough's "problem" with Obama is the Illinois senator's seeming ease with gay rights, like marriage (and/or civil unions) or, well, just letting gays and lesbians exist: "I have warned that his aggressive support for the radical homosexual activist agenda in America is a part of the overall picture of who he is. In this way he may be more 'gay' than Clinton was 'black' - and by a wide margin at that." Got that? He ain't just a stealth Muslim anymore. He's a stealth fag-lovin' Muslim demi-negro.

Why? Because he wants to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act, "Obama displays a reckless commitment to play games with the future sexual formation of families and puts himself so firmly planted in the camp of anti-biblical views of truth, sex, and family that we have never seen its comparison in all years previous." Goddamn, you can just see McCullough photoshopping Obama's head on top of some giant-cocked black man at NakedNubianNobs.com.

The whole thing boils over into a yowl of ejaculatory glee, with McCullough almost audibly pounding his nuts on his desk with his keyboard in order to stop them from aching at the thought of Obama's muscular hands giving him a reacharound while fucking him from behind, when he writes, "Make no mistake, committed Obama supporters share his uber-libertine leanings to homosexual behavior, and want to encourage more relaxation of traditional moral sexual barriers in society."

Seed spent, new keyboard needed, photoshopped picture safely in the file marked "Oppo Research," McCullough can shower the sweat off his body and cleanse himself to be ready for the next time CNN shows Obama at a rally.