Media Motherfucker of the Week:
Bob Novak, for cowering like a bitch on Crossfire and saying that anyone who questioned the outing of a CIA operative was "Bush-bashing." Hey, you comb-over cock, if it’s so fucking meaningless, why’d you publish it?
Here's his pathetic whining.

Weekly Reason Bill O’Reilly Should Be Bent Over a Prison Bunk and Anally Violated with a Spoon :
Because the splotchy-faced fucker’s Fox website actually calls his pandering interview with Condoleeza Rice "hard-hitting." Months ago, O’Reilly said he wouldn’t trust the Bush Administration anymore if no WMDs were found in Iraq. What’s it gonna take for him to lose trust? Is Bush going to have to drink blood out of the skull of an Iraqi child? Or would that just be freedom of religion? Read the shame here.

Biggest Assholes of the Week:
The Republicans in the Texas Legislature. First they decided to hijack the redistricting process because evil Tom DeLay beat his concave chest and said, "Me want more congressmen," then they act like spoiled babies with shit-filled diapers and sanctioned the Democrats for trying to halt the power grab. The latest, including a fun allegation of racism, here.

Why Ann Coulter Continues to be a Cunt:
"There is no surer proof of Christ's divinity than that he is still so hated some 2,000 years after his death." -- from her September 25 column.
Yeah, and Jesus just loved horse-faced blondes who flash leg in order to get attention. The Rude Pundit wouldn't fuck her with Rush Limbaugh's tiny, limp penis.
Read here at risk to your blood pressure.


About the Rude Pundit

The Rude Pundit doesn’t want advertising dollars. He doesn’t want to owe you jack shit. He’ll probably turn on you like a vicious beast some day.

Disclaimer: Our labels and titles are rhetorical. Just because the Rude Pundit calls someone a "motherfucker" does not mean that he has firsthand knowledge that that person fucks his or her mother. Additionally, simply labeling someone a "cocksucker" does not imply any knowledge that the person sucked any cock. Should that person by chance suck cocks for pleasure or profit, it is purely coincidental. By the same token, a "cuntface" does not literally have a cunt replacing his or her face. The Rude Pundit thinks the word "cuntface" is funny because the implication is of being fucked in the face. However, Ann Coulter is just a cunt.

The Rude Pundit abhors actual violence. He does not wish anyone to be physically harmed by anything said here. Although he may profess to want Bill O’Reilly to have his leg cut off and fucked with his own femur, it is a rhetorical flourish, like muttering to yourself and everyone in your car that you will "kick some ass" of the next driver who cuts you off. Indeed, even if you were to get into a fight, chances are you would not be kicking an ass but punching a face.

All pussies, though, are pussies.
The Rude Pundit Manifesto

The Rude Pundit is left. You are wrong.

The Rude Pundit owes you nothing. He is free from all obligations. Unlike you, he can say whatever he wants. He will always speak the truth. He will always try to make you uncomfortable.

The Rude Pundit knows that the majority of the country believes in liberal policies. They just don’t know it. Yet.

The Rude Pundit believes that the reason the left has failed to get an open following is that it has allowed rudeness to become the language of the right. Thomas Paine was rude. W.E.B. DuBois was rude. Abbie Hoffman was rude. The Rude Pundit could list more people, but he doesn’t want to waste time on your history lesson. Go read a fucking book.

You get nowhere by standing on the street corner and declaiming that Bill O’Reilly is unfair to guests or that Donald Rumsfeld is evil. You make a clear image by listing all the kitchen utensils with which Mr. O’Reilly should be sodomized. It may be a no-spin zone, but it ain’t a no anal violation zone.

The Rude Pundit believes "rumsfelding" should become a new word for anal violation.

Rudeness doesn’t just mean you get to say words like "fuck." Fuck you if you think that. Rudeness means that arguments are made in a way in which the facts make all opinions obvious. Give people enough rope.

The Rude Pundit is a squeaky wheel. He is a thorn in the side.

The Rude Pundit knows all. He has seen you with your pants down, he has seen your sex toys, he has peeked in the window of your secretary’s apartment, he has your college transcripts, he has your credit report, he knows how much gas mileage your car gets, he knows who you voted for, he has watched you put your mother in home, he has seen you hit your kids, he has seen you looking at pornography, he saw where you hid the bodies, where you dumped the chemicals, he has glued back together your shredded documents, he knows what foods you’re allergic to, he will feed you the foods you’re allergic to, he will make you watch while he fucks your mistress, he will send flowers to your enemies, he will tell everyone how small your cock is. The Rude Pundit doesn’t care. Remember: he owes you nothing.

The Rude Pundit will drag America, kicking and screaming, back to democracy, back to hope, back to a government by the people.

The Rude Pundit is a super-hero, a crime fighter. He is straight, he is gay, he is unaffiliated. He thinks your daughter is hot. Or your son.

The Rude Pundit has been waiting for when the level of stupidity in the world reached such a fever pitch that he could no longer stay silent.

The Rude Pundit is awake now. And he’s pissed.