Trump Blames Biden for Things Biden Had Nothing to Do With

We know that President Donald "Wipe me, Natalie" Trump and his entire syphilitic administration love to blame every possible negative thing on President Joe Biden. Every blemish in DC, every policy that they don't like, every statistic that doesn't go their way, every hike in prices, every fucking thing. Hell, I'm sure Trump blames Biden for the fact that Melania would rather masturbate with a fake gold cherub than touch her husband. Any chance any of them get, they fucking blame Biden, despite the fact that, to my knowledge, Biden hasn't been anywhere near the levers of power for nearly 20 months. 

Of course, often, shit has nothing to do with Biden or is an exaggeration. Today, in fact, Trump said, "Oil is less expensive now than it was under the Biden administration." And, sure, if you measure by 2022 prices, it is lower. It went up to around $116 a barrel due to Russia's invasion of Ukraine, and now it's at, roughly, $95. But when Trump took over from Biden, it was down to $75 a barrel, and by my awesome ability to do basic math, I can state with certainty that $75 is lower than $95. 

On Thursday, September 17,  Trump had one of his Dinner with the Rich Yokels events where he invited heads of hunting and fishing organizations and corporations to watch him sign some executive orders making life easier for them and shittier for the environment. One of the EOs was about a couple of things that irritate some fishing businesses: a NOAA rule that ordered a speed of "no more than 10 knots applying to all vessels 65 ft (19.8 m) or greater in overall length in certain locations and at certain times of the year along the east coast of the U.S. Atlantic seaboard" in order to protect migrating whales, and the Magnuson-Stevens Fishery Conservation and Management Act, which was designed to prevent overfishing and other issues that can harm that industry and the oceans. Fun fact: The Stevens is Ted Stevens, the longtime and now-dead Republican senator from Alaska. 

Here's how Trump described what he was doing: "The Biden administration tried to bludgeon the boating and maritime industry with a ridiculous boating speed limit of no more than 10 miles per hour" and "This order also expands fishing seasons and fishing quotas, undoing another Biden disaster." Wow, that Joe Biden really loves sea life. 

Except facts will fuck your shit up and here are the facts: That rule on the speed limit? That was finalized and put into effect in 2008 when the president was, in fact, George W. Bush. The Magnuson-Stevens Act on fishing limits was initially passed in 1976, when Gerald Ford was president, and renewed in 2006, when, yeah, it was Bush. I mean, sure, Biden was a senator and the vote was unanimous, so there's a slight connection. By the way, both houses of Congress were under Republican control in '06. 

The Biden administration had nothing to do with either thing. But that doesn't stop Trump from fucking that glory hole with the name "Biden" above it in black sharpie again and again. He doesn't even care if there's a mouth on the other side. He doesn't care if he gets splinters. He'll keep fucking it until his dick falls off.

Trump made it sound like he was changing everything on these two issues immediately. "You can go slightly faster than 10 miles an hour, like 120 miles an hour if you're crazy," he assured the fishing industry people, "but you can go as fast as you want. We have that order. It's all signed, sealed and delivered." Except, of course, that's not what the EO even did.  It "does not repeal or suspend the existing vessel speed rule. The current 10-knot limit remains in effect for most vessels 65 feet or longer in designated Seasonal Management Areas along the East Coast." In both cases, it simply directs relevant agencies to look into changing things. It's not a done deal. It might well turn out to be. But you cannot "go as fast as you want." 

Trump doesn't even understand what the hell he's signing. He's said as much earlier in the ceremony, when he signed the other EO. That one actually was undoing Biden policy, "a nationwide ban on the use of lead shotgun ammo for waterfowl hunting because of the material’s known toxicity for waterfowl and other bird species," according to noted anti-hunting rag Field & Stream magazine. But Trump had no idea what the hell that means, and that's coming from him:

"This order also protects the use of affordable, traditional... Well, this is pretty good. I never knew this was a problem, Doug. You're going to have to educate me, but you put it in, lead ammunition. Is ammunition... Lead ammunition was a problem, huh? Is it better than other ammunition, I assume, huh? That's pretty good. I don't know what the hell that means but I know one thing. You wanted it. You wanted it. And I'm here for you."

In other words, Trump hadn't seen or heard of the executive order before putting his name on it. He didn't give a single, solitary fuck. Interior Secretary Doug Burgum asked for it and Trump didn't even care what it was. Not even one single moment of curiosity about the effects of lead ammo. It gave him an excuse to attack Biden on gun rights, and that's all he wanted to do.

And then, swear to fuck, he went on to tell the goddamn story about whether he'd rather get eaten by a shark or electrocuted underwater in a sinking electric boat again. At this point, I'll take the fucking shark.

A Totally Real Memo (Wink!) from the Department of Defe...War

A. From the Office of the Secretary of WAR, MOTHERFUCKERS!:

In accordance with Secretary of WAR, MOTHERFUCKERS! Pete "Peter" Hegseth's memo from this summer where the Secretary [note: Can we get that changed? Makes me sound like a chick- PH] informed our brave men (and women, for now) in uniform that no one is allowed to "be a pussy," and on wise, medically-sound guidance from Secretary of "Health" and "Human" Services Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., and Dr. Mehmet Oz, who is one of the good Moslems, we will begin testing all male service members at age 30 and over to ensure that the service member's level of the hormone testosterone (T) is acceptable. 

Testing procedures:
1. Groups of male service members will sleep in designated barracks the night before testing.

2. In the morning, Secretary Hegseth will go around to each bunk prior to service members waking and check to see if each member has an erection. If a service member does not have a full erection, Secretary Hegseth will engage with the service member's penis to bring it to full erection while an assistant times the length of time it takes to achieve full tumescence. Note: Secretary Hegseth requests that, if you wake up during this part of the test, you should continue to pretend you are asleep. AT NO TIME MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH SECRETARY HEGSETH. 

3. In groups of three or four, male service members will be brought into a room and asked to masturbate to ejaculation into a provided cup. Secretary Hegseth will be seated in a chair to watch each service member masturbate to ensure proper ejaculation occurs. The Secretary requests that service members only wear a white t-shirt and athletic socks as they enter the room. The Secretary will ask questions about the libidos and sexual activity of service members while they masturbate. Masturbation duration will be timed, with notes made if it take too long or too little time. As with the previous part of the test, DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH SECRETARY HEGSETH. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. 

4. Secretary Hegseth will personally test each semen sample by tasting it. He will be able to tell if the semen contains the correct minimum amount of testosterone by comparing it to the taste of his own semen, which he will provide for himself. Service members must stand at attention right after they have completed ejaculation while the Secretary tastes their semen and comments on various attributes he perceives. Even if Secretary Hegseth asks a direct question, DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM. THE SECRETARY PERCEIVES ALL EYE CONTACT AS A THREAT AND MAY ACT ACCORDINGLY. 

5. Service members whose T is low will be forced to take regular injections of it in order to improve the service member's masculinity. If a service member refuses to receive the injections, they will be deemed "transgender" and forced to leave military service. 

6. Service members whose T is normal will be put back into regular duties.

7. Service members whose T level is above that of Secretary Hegseth's will be assigned to strip nude and oil wrestle the Secretary so he can prove that "You're not so tough." During these nude oil wrestling matches, DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH SECRETARY HEGSETH. HE CANNOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THE VIOLENCE THAT WILL FOLLOW. THE SECRETARY MAY BE INTOXICATED AND HAS NO IMPULSE CONTROL EVEN ON GOOD DAYS.

8. If a service member defeats Secretary Hegseth at oil wrestling, that service member and his family will be deported. Probably to Liberia. 

9/11 Is Tired of This Dance

Staring in the mirror, 9/11 sighs. Even though it's generally only once a year now that anyone cares that she exists, she knows that 25 years means something magical to people, as if numbers that end in 5 or 0 carry a mystical force when, really, it's just the nature of humans to find arbitrary significance in things that are inevitable. 25 years was going to happen, she was going to be there for it, and she knows people will want her to look her best. She works on her eyelashes.

What 9/11 hates most about these kinds of anniversaries is the willful amnesia, where names like "Bush" and "Cheney" are intoned with reverence, as if they weren't the same monsters who regularly burst into her apartment and jacked off on her and made her march around with their cum on her face, calling anyone who came to her aid a "traitor" and sent out the squamous, smirking Karl Rove to destroy them. Now, on these occasions, she gets to hear perhaps how Bush tried to unite us or maybe some kind of insulting assertion that they weren't as bad as Donald Trump. They were, she knows, she knows, and she wants to scream. They were just as bad. They used her as an excuse to try to break down the nation and the world and rebuild it in their gnarled, corrosive image, with everyone an enemy until proven otherwise. And they would make her appear regularly and dance for their pleasure. 9/11 remembers all those nights in the Oval Office, with Rumsfeld and Rice pawing each other frantically, supremely aroused by her swaying and shaking, laughing as Colin Powell tried to avoid staring at her when they stripped her and dragged her into a threesome that left her empty and lost. Cheney and Bush sucked on their cigars and laughed. They put so much heroin into her veins those days so she couldn't protest. God, it was so many foul years before they finally let her be.

She puts on her lipstick. Yes, those filthy times may be at an end for her, with many of the worst of her rapists gratifyingly, finally dead, but 9/11 knows that what they did to her and in her name was the template for what came after, for the worthless wars and the whores in conservative media, whether radio, TV, podcast, online, everywhere, making bank on tearing the citizens of the country apart, and the politicians who ride that hatred hard, like it's the fastest horse at the Derby. Without her, so much might have been different. Or maybe they would have at least found someone else to drag around and exploit.  

Jesus, she thinks, at least Giuliani has become such a disgrace that no one dares to try to redefine him as some kind of benevolent, elderly statesman whose dignity is missed in false comparison to the indecent mongrels leading the nation now. And it almost makes her giggle to think of Giuliani contemplating that it is, in fact, a Muslim mayor who will lead New York City through this day, a Muslim man who is genuinely beloved and admired and who, it seems, has no interest in watching 9/11 dance.

But dance she must, even if it's only every fifth year. 9/11 has aged in the last quarter century, "but who hasn't?" she thinks. She knows her responsibilities. It moves her deeply that she is the first world event that impacted the lives of many who were children when she was forced into her current existence in fire and blood. 9/11 wishes, oh, she wishes that it wasn't the case, that she was just another day. 

She checks herself out, her dark but not black dress still fitting, the slit not quite as high up on her thigh, but open enough to let her move. She can't stare too long or she'll burst into tears. She thinks about bin Laden, how he knew that they would torture and parade her and use her as an excuse for every destructive impulse they ever had. She think that it's laughably tragic that he understood the United States better than most Americans.  

She's ready. Reluctant but ready. 9/11 is tired of the ritual of dancing so everyone can behold her and honor her and condemn her and mourn for her and mock her and more. She'll do it because she has no choice. For her, for 9/11, for the country where she lives, for the endless manufactured crises that may not be in her name directly but have their origin in her, it will never stop being 9/11. 

A Poem for the Laborers

"From 'Be Recorder'"

by Carmen Gimenez

they work their fingers 

to the soul their bones 

to their marrow 

they toil in blankness 

inside the dead yellow 

rectangle of warehouse 

windows work fingers 

to knots of fires  

the young the ancients

the boneless the broken

the warehouse does too 

to the bone of the good 

bones of the building

every splinter spoken for

she works to the centrifuge 

of time the calendar a thorn 

into the sole dollar of working 

without pause work their mortal 

coils into frayed threads until 

just tatter they worked their bones 

to the soul until there was no 

soul left to send worked until 

they were dead gone

to heaven or back home 

for the dream to have USA 

without USA to export

USA to the parts under 

the leather sole of the boss 

they work in dreams of working 

under less than ideal conditions 

instead of just not ideal 

conditions work for the 

shrinking pension and never 

dental for the illusion 

of the doctor medicating them 

for work-related disease 

until they die leaving no empire

only more dreams that their babies

should work less who instead

work more for less 

so they continue to work 

for them and their kin 

they workballoon payment 

in the form of a heart attack 

if only that’ll be me someday

the hopeless worker said on 

the thirteenth of never 

hollering into the canyon 

of perpetual time 

four bankruptcies later

three-fifths into a life 

that she had planned 

on expecting happiness 

in any form it took 

excluding the knock-off

cubed life she lived in debt

working to the millionth

of the cent her body cost

the machine’s owner

Yolanda Berta Zoila 

Chavela Lucia Esperanza

Naya Carmela Celia Rocio

once worked here

their work disappearing

into dream-emptied pockets

into the landfill of work

the work to make their bodies

into love for our own

Democrats Have One Job This Year. Anything Else Is Bullshit.

If you put a gun to my head, I honest-to-fuck couldn't pick Hasan Piker out of a lineup that included Grimace, that pirate thing from Backrooms, and Sadie Sink. I'd probably say, "I don't think he's big and purple, but maybe he's small and redheaded" You're having one of a couple of reactions to that petty little bit of snark. One is "How can he possibly not know about Hasan Piker, left-wing firebrand and one of the most popular Twitch streamers and podcasters? Doesn't he know that's the Joe Rogan of the Left?" And that's fair to think that I, who have wallowed in the mud pits of political commentary for far too much of this one precious life, would have more than a passing knowledge of someone who is getting so much ink and spittle spilled over some of his more indulgently pseudo-extreme statements. 

Another entirely fair reaction is "Who the hell is Hasan Piker and why should I care?" To which I would only tell you that you don't need to care. Really. No matter how many times some random Democrat is asked about Piker or some other idiot Democrat puts out a statement condemning some Piker remark about Israel or, even worse, condemning a fellow Democrat for talking to Piker, you don't have to give a dull tortoise fuck about him. 

But it seems like, for some fucked up reason, Democrats from Cory Booker and John Fetterman in the Senate to Josh Gottheimer and Debbie Dingell in the House, as well as reliably old and disconnected consultants like James Carville and David Axelrod, have all taken the bait and attacked Piker for comments about Israel that are frankly not that different than what acceptable pundits like Ezra Klein have said.  I'm not going to go into the whole issue itself, except to say that it's the mainstream of Democratic voters' beliefs to disapprove of Israel's genocide in Gaza and to want to stop arms sales to the nation. Indeed, you could say it's not just the minority view among Democrats to support murderous pricksore Benjamin Netanyahu, but with any support now at around 20% among Democrats, you could call that the extremist perspective. 

Look, Democrats, you have one fucking job to accomplish in this midterm election season, and that's to take the Congress back from Republicans so you can attempt to fuck Trump's shit up. That's it. Everything else is bullshit and a distraction and a waste of everyone's time. Donald Trump is an existential threat to the continuation of the United States as a constitutional democracy, or, hell, as a place where people can even live without fearing disease, deportation, or death. Hasan Piker and the Democratic Socialists of America and trans athletes are not, even if you combined them into one Zord of Fake Shit That Terrifies Moderate Assholes. But that's just dancing to the Republicans' tune, and if you let the GOP set the agenda for what Democrats can be questioned about, if you let the media try to push you to condemn a widely popular opinion within the party's voters, then you're fucking it up.

I get that corporate Democrats are butthurt as hell over some of their chosen candidates losing in the primaries. The people who are whining about Michigan's nominee for Senate, Abdul El-Sayed, are the same ones who tell the leftist wing of the party to suck it up and vote for whatever AIPAC- and billionaire-approved centrist gets the nomination. Take your own fucking advice. Shut the fuck up and vote for El-Sayed. Let the man campaign as he sees fit. The shit people say to get elected is not the way that they legislate. El-Sayed will be one voice. If he wins or if any Democratic Socialist-aligned or sympathetic candidates win, they don't just take shit over. It's not a coup. And the corporate Democrats know this yet still are losing their shit. But they've played this game the same way for decades, and all they know is to freak the fuck out when someone slightly left of Bill Clinton gets a nomination. (I use Clinton because the most paranoid of the motherfuckers worked for him.)

Take a lesson from El-Sayed, who parlays each time some media puke tries to swing at him with his association with Piker. Take a page from his opponent in the tight primary, Haley Stevens, who immediately endorsed El-Sayed. 

The thing is that Piker doesn't have any actual power. Meanwhile, the president of the United States is threatening free speech rights, posting videos about going to war with Canada, and wantonly murdering people at sea, along with forcing the country into a useless war we've lost. The Republican Party's top donor, Elon Musk, who was once the second most powerful person in the administration, regularly agrees with genocidal racist sentiments and posts white supremacist statements, and he's meeting with Speaker of the House Mike Johnson because he's giving hundreds of millions of dollars to help the GOP in the midterms. While Republican members of Congress and candidates are occasionally asked about some fuckery Trump has committed, they are, as far as I've seen, never asked to condemn Musk or to pledge not to take any of his filthy money. 

No, some podcaster no one beyond those with terminal Twitter-and-Twitch brain has heard about is treated as more important than the DOGE-ing motherfucker who is personally responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths so far. That's what's fucked. Ask Republicans if they agree with horrific things that Megyn Kelly has said. Or some buffoonishly sexist or violent thing that Jesse Twatters...sorry, Watters has blurbled lately. Or get some real guts and ask where they stand on the abjectly disgusting things Charlie Kirk would say. A hundred influential conservative commentators say objectively worse things every goddamn day. A hundred conservative members of Congress, too. What fucking farce.

In other words, Democrats, when someone asks you to condemn Hasan Piker, you can kindly ask them to go fuck themselves because you have more important things to fix, like the country. And maybe the world.

America Fucked Crazy and Now Has To Deal With the Mess

As a rude young man, I was given a piece of advice that has stuck with me. It's simple in its wording, but it has helped me immensely throughout my life. Three words: "Don't fuck crazy." It means just don't bone someone who is obviously insane. It's the best way to avoid shit that could make your life miserable. Now, you might one day meet someone and think, "Okay, he seems crazy, but not so crazy. Besides, he's so hot that I gotta roll the dice." We are, after all, only human, with human urges, sometimes intense ones, and human failings, sometimes unavoidable ones. So, yeah, you go ahead.

And it's awesome because one thing about fucking crazy is that the fucking can be incredible. It can make you feel so good, make you cum so hard that you're willing to overlook a whole lot of crazy. Sure, sure, he's stealing your shit and selling it, he's told all your friends to fuck off, he's wrecking your apartment when he's not hanging his shit up all over the walls, he says the most lunatic stuff that makes everyone think you're nuts, too, and he makes you give away your cat, but, you tell the diminishing number of your pals, "His mouth is a black hole that spaghettifies my dick." You gotta ask yourself where the line is. Where is the point where he's gone too far or he's too far gone, where it doesn't matter how hard you nut in his beefy ass? You gonna wake up and see that's not enough? Or are you gonna wait until he burns your home down and kills your mom? You gonna let him tear your life to pieces just because, for a few minutes you felt orgasmic pleasure. It's fucking madness and anyone watching it happen is gonna ask you when is enough enough. If you just keep heading back to fuck crazy more, then you're a lost cause. 

America fucked crazy in 2016 and then decided it hadn't learned its lesson, so it forgot about the hundreds of thousands of Covid deaths and decided to fuck crazy again in 2024. And what's happened? Crazy took over the joint. Every other country in the world can look at us and say, "Whoa, that was stupid" as the joint burns down around us all. 

And the thing about not just fucking crazy but sticking by crazy so you can fuck crazy more is that you stop having perspective on just how crazy crazy is. I mean, any objective look around us shows that we are reaching depths of crazy that should make all of us wonder how the fuck we ever recover. It's fucking insane that the President of the United States is spending, as New York Times correspondent Maggie Haberman described it, 70 percent of his diminishing mental energy on renovations at the White House and around DC. It's fucking insane that the leader of the free world is more concerned about spooging gold all over statues than making life any easier for anyone. The entire Reflecting Pool episode is utterly deranged. They arrested people for touching floating shreds of the shitty lining and pretended they were terrorists. And Trump is still standing by that assessment. What the fucking fuck? 

Getting used to someone else's crazy means that you completely miss a lot of the crazy. We found out last week that Capital One shut down over 300 bank accounts belonging to Trump and the Trump Organization because they were being used for money laundering. I mean, it's been pretty clear for a long time now that building shit or franchising the use of the Trump name is just a cover, like Walter White's car wash, for laundering enormous piles of cash for...who? Russians? Saudis? Azerbaijanis? Who the fuck knows? But no one is talking about it because that's how crazy it all is, and not talking about it is crazier.

I can't even get into the true horror of the madness, the child rape and the torture of imprisoned immigrants and the families being torn apart constantly for no reason other than to bleach the country white. Or a fucking war that, at best, will not even get us back to where things were before the war started, all because Trump can't handle that anyone in the past did anything worth keeping, whether that's Obama, Biden, or, hell, even George W. Bush. Trump's actions have killed hundreds of thousands all ready, on top of his Covid death toll, and the bloodshed is just really gearing up. 

America fucked crazy. It didn't listen to the most basic of relationship advice. And the thing about fucking crazy and continuing to fuck crazy is that when you finally get over crazy, you can't just pick up your life and continue because crazy has been a goddamn tornado, laying waste to everything, your friendships, your family, your credit rating, your personal shit. If you're lucky, crazy didn't involve you directly in crimes, but, fuck, you might go to prison because crazy convinced you to commit war crimes. It'll take years to get shit back to some kind of normal. We all know this. We all feel like everything is out of control because it fucking well is.

Of course, knowing America, once a Democrat straightens things out, we'll fuck crazy again.

(Note: If you think this is a post mocking mental illness, you can fuck right off.)

The Fauci Hearing Is a Moment to Despair for How Dumb and Deranged We've Gotten

There was another way this all could have gone that I think about quite a bit. I think about the start of the Covid-19 pandemic, when virtually everyone was scared to death of a new form of a virus that we knew almost nothing about and the medical community and governments were trying anything to keep us safe, like masking, like social distancing, like wiping our groceries, things that worked and things that didn't. I think about the agonizing images of overwhelmed nurses and doctors, losing more people than they could save in ICUs that were overflowing with patients whose loved ones were forced to watch them suffer from a distance. I think about that period of time when we celebrated the essential workers, from hospital workers to mail carriers, when we beat pans to let them know we knew how desperately they were all trying to keep people alive or keep the world functioning. 

And I know, I know, I fucking know that so much of that unity was an illusion, blown apart quickly by the murder of George Floyd and the explosion of protest that followed. I know that even the kindest, most generous version of this Covid fantasy would have been justifiably broken by the upheaval that occurred. 

But I think about how we could have kept that unity going, how we could have rallied and willingly sacrificed like during World War 2, how we could have celebrated the fact that we had an election during a pandemic, a safe, smooth election, an incredible accomplishment by any measure. Look at how awesome we are as a country, we could have said. Look at what we did in the worst of circumstances. Donald Trump could have taken a victory lap on that very fact had he not sought to undermine the entire electoral system. He could have said that he was the reason it all went so well, and it would have been hard to argue with him. He could have done the same with the quick development of the Covid vaccine, advocating for everyone to get it, touting its safety, and claiming responsibility for the record time in getting us the thing that would save us from the virus. It would have become an article of faith among his followers that they had to get vaccinated, and likely tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of lives would have been saved. 

Those two things, the 2020 election and the vaccine, would have allowed him to exit his first term with something like grace, even amidst the chaos he caused. But grace is to Donald Trump as ice cream is to the lactose intolerant: even a little would make him more uncomfortably flatulent than usual. 

Instead, we know what happened. We know that skeevy politicians, clout-seeking media whores, and exploitative hucksters all took advantage of the chaos, of the confusion, of the evolving medical advice and evolving understanding of the illness (which is what happens when, again, you have a new virus), of people's natural despair about having their lives shut down. We know that they decided to turn into villains the very people who had dedicated their lives to saving our lives. We know that, despite Trump's praise of him throughout the frightening first part of the pandemic (even using a clip of him in a campaign ad), Dr. Anthony Fauci, who was director of the National Institutes for Allergies and Infectious Diseases for presidents from Ronald Reagan to Joe Biden, has been and is and will be the focus of a nutzoid right-wing ragegasm due to lies about Covid and short-term memory loss on how the country dealt with it. 

So it was one of the most enraging, embarrassing, and dangerous hearings in a while when Senator Rand Paul, who belongs in a rubber room scrawling manifestos on the walls in his own shit, subpoenaed Fauci to appear before the Senate Homeland Security Committee and have him sit there for hours while Paul and other GOP fucknuts berated him for shit he didn't do. 

Imagine spending your entire life saving millions of lives and now Rand fucking Paul and assorted chodes, Chads, and chuds are trying to get you to fall into a perjury trap so they can jail you for the rest of whatever life you have left at 85. Imagine sitting there and listening to Sen. Rick "What it would look like if Skeletor fucked a python" Scott, who led a hospital company that committed massive Medicare fraud and who himself took the Fifth Amendment 75 times during a civil suit, call you a "villain." Imagine listening to a fucking ignorant goon like Ron Johnson still assert that the Covid vaccine kills more people than the disease and that ivermectin and other quack cures that you helped debunk are effective treatments. 

Honestly, I wish Fauci had followed up every assertion of his Fifth Amendment rights with "And based upon my rights under the First Amendment to the Constitution, I'd like to tell you to go fuck yourself." He could have even done variations, like "Based upon my rights under the First Amendment to the Constitution, I believe you should suck my saggy old man balls" and "According to the First Amendment, I'm inviting you to eat my whole ass, dickstain." I wish he had done that all 111 times. It's not like the crazies are giving him a break for staying restrained during the hearing. They're losing they're tiny fucking minds.

The whole hearing was a disgrace, including the fact that Democrats were such wimps in defending Fauci. They should have been going right at Paul and the rest, accusing them of being grandstanding pieces of shit. They at least should have put the truth on the record, with hard numbers, like the fact that unvaccinated people died at hugely higher rate than the vaccinated. 

But the dangerous part of this is that the hearing was there to degrade Fauci, undermine faith in real scientific research, and make the dumbest motherfuckers on the conspiratorial right happy. And it wasn't enough. They are looking to hold Fauci in contempt of Congress. State attorneys general are going to try to charge Fauci with some crime. I mean, one member of Congress called him "Mengele Fauci," to which you can only say, "Oh, shut the fuck up." Truly, Fauci should get the hell out of the United States because these assholes won't stop until they can have a public execution and put his head on a pike outside HHS (although RFK, Jr. would probably take the head and put it in his car to bring home). 

What the fuck is wrong with us that we are so broken. Instead of that unity, instead of admitting that we suffered a mass trauma that needs to be dealt with on a mental health level, we just have been expected to move on from the death and despair of that period. Fuck any sense of a society. Fuck science. Fuck us because a future Dr. Fauci is going to look at this and think, "Maybe government service isn't for me." 

(Note: Of course, there's also a version of the pandemic fantasy where Trump dies of Covid and everyone learns a valuable lesson, but, alas.)