Weekend Off - But a Shout Out To the Homeys:
A few letters here:
Lance writes in to spout off about Rush Limbaugh, a spouting that echoes with the sweet symphony of the cornholed prisoner: "Now that Eldrugbo may be indicted on 10 felony counts of Doctor shopping, I wonder if all Americans with non-sloping foreheads will get the exquisite pleasure of knowing that Elslimebo will have his anal canal used as a recreational device by Bubba and the boys at some Federal facility. One can well imagine Elscumbo falling down on his knees and wetting himself in fear and pleading that he, talent on loan from God, should not suffer the same fate that he so sanctimoniously wished on other drug addicted souls. The lesson of this is be careful what you wish for, for others that is."

The ever-astute and far-too-reasonable sounding Stephanie says of the State of the Union (or SOTU, in our acronym obsessed culture), " Junior did not say 'programs and activities related to weapons of mass destruction.' That would have been the CLEAR AND LOGICAL way to phrase the concept. Instead, he said 'weapons of mass destruction-related program activities.' And I bet a lot of people just turned off after the first four words of that phrase. They heard 'weapons of mass destruction' but did not hear '-related program activities. '" Ahh, but remember, language is the enemy - action is the truth. (Shit, that sounds right out of Kung Fu .)

Aloysius comments that the Rude Pundit was in error when he stated that if Bush tried to rope a steer, it'd probably fuck him: "Yo, city boy. A steer can't fuck nobody. A steer's an ex-bull. A gelding. Anyhow, to rope one, Bush would have to get on a horse's back and make it run. Never happen. He's a golf cart cowboy all the way." Boy, the Rude Pundit is so redfaced, he thinks he needs a heapin' plate of mountain oysters to his weary soul. In fact, here's a whole page of testicle recipes for the weekend dining experience.

Along those lines, Steve informs us: "I live just a little south of Austin. Junior's make-believe ranch is a little north of Austin. His handlers told him to buy it back in '98 so's he could look all western an' buff and gipper-esque as that crafted his national image. Thing is, it weren't no ranch. The land, before he bought it, was a pig farm! Now how appropriate is that! And on top of it, a little known fact. Junior is AFRAID of horses. You've never seen him on one and never will. First time Vincente Fox came up to Texas from Mexico for a chat, he suggested a horsy ride across the hill country. Lead balloon city."

Now, the Rude Pundit doesn't know if this is true, Bush's fear of horses, although he has found reference to it elsewhere. There are no pictures to be found of Bush riding a horse. You gotta love the image of Bush cowering in a corner every time the Mr. Ed theme plays or running screaming across the Oval Office like a transvestite out of eye liner when he sees the mounted patrol on the streets in front of the Capitol. If you have a confirmation of some sort, one way or the other, on this whole horse deal, write to "rudepundit@yahoo.com".

Otherwise, this city boy is gonna ride into the concrete-reflected sunset for a comforting evening of vodka shots, easy bar pick-ups, and sweet, drunken sleep.