"The State of Our Union Is . . . Shut the Fuck Up":
What an odious bit of dried worm spooge is our President. What an idiot, what a maroon. Standin' up there, all decked out in his red tie and shit, lookin' like he'd just fucked Howard Dean's wife, smiling, smiling, barely containing that fucking shit-eating smile, staring out at the crowd, knowing that he could destroy anyone of them with barely a whiff of outrage from the press or the public. Untouchable. All he had to do was say the fuckin' words, say the fuckin' words, as Rove told him over and over, say the fuckin' words and keep your hands on the fuckin' binder.

What was the deal with the binder? Was it so it looked like he studied? Was it a veiled tribute to the lost Spalding Gray, who would perform with an open notebook and glass of water? More likely, Rove gave him the binder so that he would avoid the awkward Bush family hand palsy that afflicts them when they speak. Earlier in the day, Rove was probably using a razor strop to smack the President's ass whenever his hands moved. Rove screamed, "Keep your hands on the fuckin' binder" as he smacked W. repeatedly, "and put that erection away." (Along those lines, the Rude Pundit's favorite photo is this one, where Dick Cheney gives his best stroke-smile of approval as Bush seems as if he's about swallow the whole cock-like microphone of America.)

Essentially, the State of the Union speech was one long bullying session. You were either with the President to fight eeevil or you were just an ineffective pussy lawyer who wants ridiculous things like "rule of law" and "sanity." In fact, it was a particularly annoying kind of bullying, where the bully keeps hitting your arm and saying, "Wanna fight? Wanna fight? Wanna fight?" because the end result of that ploy is that if you swing back, the bully goes running off to tell the teacher that you're a bully.

The speech was the usual: fear and war, America, fear and war. Christ, he must have been barely able to contain his hard-on behind the microphone, smirking ridiculously when he spoke of violence and hate. Looking like he could have been fucking Tom Daschle in the ass in the chamber, saying, "Whee, look at me, I'm fuckin' the minority leader." And just the barest mention that anyone actually suffers during war. No acknowledgement of the dead. No words of comfort. Just ass kicking. From the Patriot Act to the Taliban to the "weapons-of-mass-destruction-related program activities" (which, as we all know, could be designs for a paper airplane because that paper airplane could be used to deliver all that fucking anthrax and botulism and fart gas that Bush talked about last year) to Libya, it was empty, empty, empty.

It's hard to get a rational thought going here. It's hard to organize because rarely has America been presented with such a litany of hate, horror, and homogeneity. Sure, we all expected the Sanctity of Marriage Amendment bullshit (and surely Neil Bush is a fine example of that), but what the fuck was up with the steroids talk? What the fuck?

Fuck it. The President of the United States is an idiot, yes, there's finally no question about it, and, yes, minus 9/11 he'd've been on the trash heap a long, long time ago. This is a man not deserving of our respect, a man who has shat on the office. A man who lied boldly last year and who offered nothing but empty nonsense this time. The Democrats should have risen, en masse, and walked out. And America, including the Rude Pundit, should have tuned out. As everyone watching, everyone involved knew, this was a campaign speech. It had little or nothing to do with speaking to the American people. State of the Union? That would require a recognition that we live in a "union" of states and people.

It was all so depressingly cynical - here's a bone to the poor, a bit of salt pork to the middle class, and a whole fuckload of shit to the conservative, rich white people who line up to run a train on the raw asshole of democracy on a daily basis.

Oh, and where the fuck was Mars?