Dennis Miller Sucks Conservative Cock:
Let's give context here: The Rude Pundit has never been a fan of Dennis Miller. Any "comedian" whose schtick is to make high and low cultural references that need to be annotated like an Oxford professor's worn copy of The Wasteland is trying too hard to be "intellectual." And any "comedian" who laughs at his own jokes more than the audience laughs at them is simply masturbating in front of the audience, pretending that he's fucking a hot model ("Yeah, you like that, bitch, don't you," his smirks and giggles indicate as he grabs his crank and pretends to slap Gabrielle's ass). So, no never, not on Saturday Night Live, not on his HBO show, not during his "rants," not doing stand-up, not in Bordello of Blood. Never. Laughing at Miller makes people think they are smart. They are not. They, and he, are idiots.

And everything ugly about Miller is on display on his CNBC "show." Miller, if you've been paying attention, was a September 11 convert to conservatism. (He's never really been a liberal, with his support of the death penalty and other right wing views.) He's a darling of the right now, born again, if you will, doing Bush fundraisers, being talked about to run against Barbara Boxer for the Senate in California. Mostly, though, what he seems to be doing with his newfound conservatism is sucking cock. Lots of it. Little cocks and big cocks. However many cocks he can get his lips around, he will suck away.

Miller may as well have broken out the kneepads on his first show, with California "governor" Arnold Schwarzenegger (for whom Miller campaigned) because the entire "interview" was one sustained cocksucking, with Arnold grinning as Miller could barely get out all the praise because of all that Austrian cock in his mouth. His interview style is something like, "I think Bush is great. Don't you agree?" or "I think you're great. Don't you agree?" or "I think I'm great. Don't you agree?" while his fingers are shoved up the assholes of John McCain, Rudy Giuliani, and Arnold.

More disturbing was his interview last night with Newsweek's Michael Isikoff to talk about David Kay and the WMD issue. Isikoff, who, among other things, broke the Lewinsky story (the Rude Pundit doesn't acknowledge the existence of vile worm shit Matt Drudge), has a web story about the intelligence and policy failures that led to the Iraq war. Miller would not allow Isikoff even the possibility that Bush and Cheney picked and chose among intelligence. And Isikoff, while not arguing, certainly held his ground that, while the intelligence might have been flawed, it also served as fodder for a decided-upon policy. Miller, not having a cock to suck, didn't really know what to do. So, in the end, he simply dismissed Isikoff without really engaging him or even allowing for doubt. Miller simply fell back on his old saw that he wanted men who would kick some ass and kill people be in office to do the killing when September 11 happened. Simple facts like, well, shit, it was a Democrat who fought and won World War II never even entered into Miller's thought process.

What else, beyond the sucking of cock? The monkey? No, really, the fucking chimp in the studio that makes you wonder "Is this a parody of a talk show?" The panel discussion? Well, it allowed evil, disgusting, Ming the Merciless-looking David Horowitz a chance to spew hate and attempt to look human instead of the verminous weasel he actually is. If nothing else, Naomi Wolf (yep, the one who advised Gore, but also wrote The Beauty Myth and other books) demonstrated that a liberal on such a panel need not scream in order to be heard. Her best lines were simply her comments to Miller and Horowitz of, "You're a smart person. I can't believe you think this." Of course, she also called Miller out by asking him on Monday, "Did you read the newspaper today?" When Miller said he had not, Wolf looked like she had just walked in on Miller fellating himself in the men's room.

And that really points up a major problem with Miller: he is obviously not reading beyond whatever screeds he needs to look at in order to get it up for ranting on the show. Another problem (and, indeed, the problem with many comedians who call themselves "conservative"): Comedy is supposed to be an attack on the powerful. Miller and those like him simply give them aid and comfort by attacking the weakest (see his comment on illegals crossing the border). Political incorrectness is great. But Miller is not even politically incorrect. He's just become another lackey of the powerful, lacking insight, seeking approval and a paycheck.

And he's gonna need that paycheck for all the lip balm he uses to get ready to suck more cock. Once conservatives hear about the great blow jobs Miller gives, they'll be lining up around the block, zippers undone, ready to be serviced.