The War of the Big Cock (and Bull Story):
Can we finally, finally admit what this war was about? Can we finally just admit that all the reasons, humanitarian, WMDs, links to terrorism, whatever, are all bullshit? America went to Iraq for one reason and one reason only: to show the rest of the world that we have the biggest cock. We didn't go to "enforce" U.N. Resolutions (and is there any reason any of us need to remember the number "1441"?). We didn't go to bring democracy to the region (which is plenty obvious from our inability to come up with a way to, say, bring democracy to the region). We went to Iraq because we could - because we could use Iraq to show the U.N., the French, the Russians, the Syrians, whoever you want to include, that we have a really, really big cock. Look at our large cock, we say, standing on the ruins of international cooperation, look at it. Is it not a big cock? Admire the huge American cock. Why, with a cock like this, we can fuck anything we want.

Because, really, and c'mon, is there any other conclusion to be reached since David Kay has made it his job to make the rounds and say, repeatedly, "Nope, no weapons, no evidence of production, nothing." Now, let's follow the bouncing ball of CNN archives on Kay: he supported Bush's statements at the U.N. in 2002 and in the infamous 2003 State of the Union address; in June 2003, while leading the hunt for WMDs, Kay said progress was being made and that "My suspicions are that we'll find [things] in the chemical and biological areas. In fact, I think there may be some surprises coming rather quickly in that area," and he added, "I think it's very likely that we will discover remarkable surprises in this enterprise," and we all waited with bated breath, like a ten year-old alone at Chuck E. Cheese's, for the surprise that never came; in the October 2003 report, Kay said that there was evidence of "biological weapons programs," meaning, one presumes, mold in the back of the 'frig of a scientist - of course, the rest of the report actually said much of what Kay is saying now, as pointed out in Slate today; in December there were reports that Kay was going to leave the fruitless search; and here we are.

A couple of other tidbits: In September on Meet the Press, Vice President Cheney gave up the love for Kay: "We’ve got a very good man now in charge of the operation, David Kay. He used to run UNSCOM, a highly qualified, technically qualified and able individual." Of course, Cheney could have been lying, since this was the same Tim Russert interview where he said that Saddam could have had nukes in a few months to a year (and, just for shits and giggles, Cheney also opined, "the whole notion that somehow there’s nothing to the notion that Saddam Hussein had WMD or had developed WMD, it just strikes me as fallacious"). Condi Rice (that's "Doctor" House Negro to you) said in September on Meet the Press that Kay was "a very well-respected former weapons inspector" and that the President was awaiting his report before jumping to any conclusions about WMDs. Rice was defending leaks about Kay's report, telling everyone to wait and see.

So here we have yet another person who was "convinced" Hussein had WMDs and now has turned the other way, and this is the guy who should know. Is the Administration going to attempt to discredit so qualified an individual as Kay? Of course, Kay is playing it loyal, turning on the intelligence agencies that kept waving their hands desperately trying to call attention to the way intelligence was being used. Kay now says that "I think if anyone was abused by the intelligence it was the president of the United States rather than the other way around." Which says a lot about the intelligence of a President who can be so readily abused by underlings.

But all of this, as we know, is just so much white noise, pretext rather than actual reasons for the war in Iraq. As more and more soldiers die, three more today, can we not be honest with ourselves and say that the war was just an excuse for the neighborhood bully to beat up the littlest kid to show the rest of the kids that the bully can kick ass? Yessiree, we have got a huge, titanic, gargantuan cock, and the balls to go with it. Nothing shows that like beatin' up the weak and defenseless. And if we have to, we'll prove again that we have the biggest cock in the world by shoving it into Syria, into Iran, into North Korea.

Today is primary time in New Hampshire. At what point can the word "trust" become the real issue in the campaign?