What Would Chocolate Jesus Do?:
You know what's funny about a chocolate Jesus? The obvious answer here is "everything," but let's narrow it down a bit. Nope, nope, it ain't His average-sized fudgy wang. And, nope, nope, it ain't the thought of Christ melting into a puddle of syrup or the fact that the Son of Man's gotta be kept refrigerated.

It's how completely bugfuck insane Cosimo Cavallaro's sculpture has driven William Donohue and the Catholic League. Seriously, if there is a God, this is the thing that'll actually cause Donohue to have an aneurysm on Hannity and Colmes, leaving him spasming, mumbling, drooling, and pissing himself on the Fox "news" studio floor. Hell, they probably wouldn't even notice the difference on the show.

Check out the Catholic League's site. Donohue calls the Lordly confection "hate speech," and threatens, "All those involved are lucky that angry Christians don’t react the way extremist Muslims do when they’re offended—otherwise they may have more than their heads cut off." No, but they certainly have to dodge the fountains of spit from Donohue's mouth. Oh, and Donohue threatens a boycott of the Roger Smith Hotel, where "My Sweet Lord" will be displayed (and, by the way, that's the real title).

And, now that Donohue says that Cavallaro wants people to show up and take a bite of His Chocolatey Goodness, his eyes have actually popped out of his head. Sputums Donohue, "The Roger Smith Hotel will rue the day it sought to declare war on Christian sensibilities" by saying that he, himself, William Donohue, has the power to stop millions of people from going to the hotel. Gee, what was it the Bible says about pride?

Man, you'd think that Chocochrist's Milky Way bar was in the mouth of a marzipan Mary Magdalene. Mmmm, tastier than a eucharist.