Why Rush Limbaugh Should Be Force-Fed His Own Liposuctioned Fat:
Goddamn and Jesus Christ, oxycontin is great shit. You take the tabs and crush 'em down and snort 'em, gettin' that feelin' of euphoria so fuckin' fast that you just wanna fuck your engineer. Or you've already moved on to shootin' the shit up, in your thigh. The cool thing about oxycontin is how fuckin' good you feel about yourself when that warm, liquid sensation pours over your body, like when your manservant microwaves the oil before lubing up your belly. And you feel so fuckin' good that you think you're king of the motherfuckin' world, and everyone around you is wrong because you just feel so got-damn right. If you went to a bar, you might come on to the hottest chick there because you think you're so fuckin' hot and your cock is three inches bigger than it is. Or, if you're on the way down, if the crash is happenin' before you get to your next tab, you might pick a fight with the weakest pussy in the bar so you can kick his ass and feel so fuckin' good about yourself, enough to give you the rush until you get back to the bathroom and freebase that shit.

So Rush Limbaugh has decided to beat up on the 9/11 widows and familes. Maureen Farrell does a great job of summarizing Pleghmball's bullshit on Buzzflash. Or you can read the unedited horror in Limbaugh's own transcript. See, according to Limbaugh, the 9/11 widows who have said that showing the casket of a dead family member being pulled from the wreckage of the World Trade Center as part of a shill to get the President re-elected is perhaps desecrating the memory of the dead are tools of the Democratic party. Limbaugh says, "These women sound like campaign consultants, not grieving family members, and I was reluctant to make this charge," but he does, calling it "hateful":"I do not know this kind of hatred; I don't know this kind of venom; I don't harbor it; I never have; I don't know what it's like to be governed by this kind of rage, and I don't know what life must be like when it is. I cannot relate. I cannot relate to being obsessed with rage and hatred."

Of course Limbaugh can relate to this hatred. His program is all about a fat abused kid who gets to beat up on people who can't see his chins bobble when he spews his hatred: from Rush, the man who loves: "[Democrats are] a little bunch of Chihuahuas yapping at the heels of everybody, but their team is filled with a bunch of gorillas and lions and tigers called the mainstream press." This is a man who has no "rage," but calls John Kerry a "clown" and a "sick puppy" (apparently, Limbaugh's metaphors are limited to those that you can find at a zoo). This is a man who used to have a regular segment called "Radio Abortions," where he would "abort" listeners with the sound effect of a vacuum and a screaming baby. People used to call his show and say, "Rush, abort me!" He is a self-serving, self-hating bullshit artist, as we all know, but, more importantly, he is a sham.

And we know that because in his own words he backtracked on his defense of Howard Stern. After saying on his show that he "never listened" to Stern, but he felt like the FCC's attack on Stern was a blow to free speech, which could, after all, affect him some day, Limbaugh felt compelled to write an editorial taking back his support in order to give support to Clear Channel and the "free market." But, like a dope addict in the middle of a heroin bender where the addict thinks he is making clear connections in his thoughts, in the same editorial, he decries those who attack The Passion of the Christ by comparing it to the left's defense of Andres Serrano's Piss Christ, a photograph from 1989.

Yep, oxycontin is a great drug - it compresses time, making things years apart seem relevant, making subjects leap from sense to nonsense seem sensible.

Of course, as usual, Limbaugh is wrong about his statements that the Heinz Foundation was behind the 9/11 widows or that they were tools of the Democrats. Monica Gabrielle and Kristen Breitweiser, the aformentioned widows, point that out in letters on their group's website. So far, neither Limbaugh, nor any of the other conservative fucks who attacked those who have suffered, still suffer, and will continue to suffer who dared to question our President, have apologized.

"Hillbilly heroin" is fine, fine drug. It's constant use eliminated all pain, all bad thoughts, all conscience. All those burdensome things that get in the way of our egos displaying themselves, splayed like a Shanghai stripper or a gutted cow.