Poppy Bush Loves George, Not Us:
Monster movies have taught us many things: our inability to control mad science, the way fearsome beasts are pussies when confronted with fire, nuclear radiation does bad things. Basic but meaningful lessons that inform our daily lives among the monsters. And there's one lesson filled with pathos but remarkable in its logic: if you create something that goes on a rampage (and you're not an evil mad scientist - just a, well, plain ol' mad one), it's pretty much your responsibility to kill it or at least tell people how to stop it before it totally wipes out a village or Tokyo or the world. Sure, you can have regrets, talk about how your three-armed giant toad/human hybrid is just acting on toad instinct, but that slimy motherfucker's gotta be suckin' down a grenade, blowing its viscosity (and its sadly human heart) all over downtown before the credits roll.

So, demonstrating once again that old money means never having to say you're sorry, it seems that George H. W. Bush, the older one, the boob father who couldn't manhunt Manuel Noriega without tearing up half of Panama, thus offering a template for future fuckery, is feeling sad that people say mean things about his son. How much of a wimp is HW? Apparently, it causes him "pain" when someone he knows says, "I love you, sir, but your son’s way off base here." Jesus, what would happen if one of his inner circle said, "I have nothing but the high hard man love for you, dude, but, goddamn, this fuckin' tard son of yours is gonna make sure we're all walkin' around with information chips up our asses, suckin' poison air through gas masks while we're all gettin' suicide blown to shit at the malls, our zombie soldiers keep fighting even after they've had their arms and guts shot to hell, and Congress doesn't even take a piss without his say so, and I think he'd like it that way."

In her lubricious hummer of an article in the New York Times, Sheryl Gay Stolberg doesn't neglect Poppy's balls, either: "he likens himself to a Little League father whose kid is having a rough game. And like the proud and angry Little League dad who cannot help but yell at the umpire, sometimes he just cannot help getting involved." See? It's all like Little League, except the home team is deciding the rule book as it goes and none of the cute kiddies are driving over IEDs. Yet. Recruitment goals must be met, you know.

Stolberg licks Poppy's taint while giving creepy details of the family's relationship: "When the clan is in Kennebunkport, all the Bush children, the president included, stream into their parents’ bedroom at the crack of dawn for coffee." Yes, stories are told throughout the Bush family about Barbara Bush, very much the matriarch, having each child, in turn, pretend to suckle at her dried-fig dugs, telling them to "Have a little of Mommy's cream in your Colombian." Unless you're rich enough to buy an entire nation, you wouldn't understand.

If you were a friend of Poppy, you might give him some advice: "Would you fuckin' do something about your twit man-child before he wrecks the joint?" Andrew Card could tell whenever Poppy called his son: "Sometimes he’d ask me a probing question. And I’d think, Hmm, I don’t think that question came from him." That's right. If George W. Bush, our current goddamn President, asked something more than, "You think it's funny that Afghanistan and Pakistan and all those other countries end in 'Stan'? I think I'll call 'em 'the Stans,' so whenever I say, 'What's up with the Stans?' that's what I'm talkin' about. Should I issue an executive order to that effect?" then the question came from Poppy.

Of course, sometimes, Satan's just sitting there in a buried line, daring you to find him. Stolberg writes, "The former president is often asked how he steers clear of second-guessing his son, and his answer is always the same: that he is not qualified to second-guess because only the occupant of the Oval Office has complete access to the kind of intelligence reports that inform presidential decisions." Now, throughout the debate about the debate about debating the war, President Bush, this one, kept saying that Congress saw the same intelligence he did. It was the de facto buck pass. Now, here's Bush's father saying, "No, only the President sees it all." Any right wing bag of spooge who spouted that line endlessly wanna take it back?

The entire article tells us that blood is thicker than nation, that it's easier fall back on bromides like, as Stolberg quotes, the father "supports his son 'in every single way with every fiber of my body,'" that sometimes Dr. Frankenstein says we can all go fuck ourselves - he just created the monster and isn't it cool to just watch it wreck the town?