Photos That Make the Rude Pundit Want to Teach a Romney Brother or Two the Joys of Man Love:

Serving their country, Josh and Tagg Romney visit "the world's largest bull," or, more appropriately, the world's largest plaster of Paris bull, in Iowa. It's sort of like being pinned down in Baquba by small arms fire and the occasional RPG under 120 degree heat while wearing 50-pounds of equipment, except with more, you know, bull.

You know why the Romney boys are not signing up for the military? Goddamn, the answer's so simple and logical and in line with their father's philosophy that it's staring us in the face. It's so obvious that you wonder why Mitt doesn't just use the truth. It's because each and every one of the five brothers must be gay. Out in the fields of Iowa, they must have been lapping down farm boy chowder like it was pouring from Brigham Young's ass. And the military still doesn't allow practicing homosexuals to join up. So, really, they're just being patriots.

C'mon, Ben, Craig, Josh, Matt, and Tagg. If you tell us that, then we'll understand why not a single one of you has volunteered for the war your father wants to have other people killed for.