Because We Won't Have Him to Kick Around Much Longer, Part 2 (Featuring Shoes and a Fun and Easy Real Protest Idea):
This morning, the Rude Pundit decided to honor the efforts of Muntader al-Zaidi, the Iraqi shoe-tosser, by taking out a raggedy old pair of sneakers, putting them in a Priority Mail shipping box, helpfully provided by the United States Post Office, and shipping them to President George W. Bush at the White House. He included a note that read, "This is a farewell kiss from the American people, you dog."
Since throwing objects at the president is generally considered a crime, the Rude Pundit figures sending shoes to Bush is a small, good thing, a gesture of contempt that has context. Sweet Christ, at this point, there should be giant sacks of shoes heading to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC, 20500, like letters to Santa.
The Rude Pundit is not going to hide his fucking glee at the incident. He's not going to "respect the office" or some such shit because Bush doesn't respect it, so fuck him - take a fuckin' shoe in the face - it'll probably be the only punishment our criminal president ever faces in his lifetime. All over America right now, millions of people are thinking the same thing: "About. Fucking. Time." Hell, when you watch the video, you see that the Secret Service barely cares. And you also see Bush smirk, as if thinking, "It's better than the plates Laura flings when she finds my whiskey."
And what's sweeter is that it's the only thing anyone's gonna remember about W's smug little "victory" lap he was trying to take in Iraq and Afghanistan, a trip that was like a rapist trying to get the semen stains out of the carpet before the DNA is found. Instead, the whole thing descended (or ascended, depending on your point of view) into farce, like a smug opera singer ripping a fart while hitting a high note. It was gratifying, no less than he deserved.
That sad part is how much he doesn't fucking care. Nothing he does is ever wrong, nothing jars him, as if there's so much Lithium in his veins that anything that might be called emotion has been drained out. He wants to be acquitted by history, by those who will analyze what he did to explain what the fuck happened, but he refuses to ever look back. In an interview with ABC News, when Bush was saying, "One of the major theaters against al Qaeda turns out to have been Iraq. This is where al Qaeda said they were going to take their stand," he was challenged by Martha Raddatz with the fact that al-Qaeda wasn't in Iraq until after the United States invaded. Bush responded, "Yeah, that's right. So what?"
Someone should be there every day of Bush's life to throw shoes at him. Hell, someone should market a fuckin' game that includes a Bush face mounted with velcro with tiny shoes that'll stick to his puss.
Oh, sweet Muntader, you who is probably hanging hooded in a basement with electrodes on your nipples and nuts right now while the vast majority of your country celebrates your leather-soled middle finger to the nation that occupies it, all over America, people are smiling and nodding. Maybe that we should come up with other things that should be hurled at the President because that motherfucking monkey has slung his shit at us for eight years.
Like, say, golf balls, birthday cake, your 401K, your sick child, clean coal, or Donald Rumsfeld.