Note to Republicans and the Media: We Don't Care About Obama and Blagojevich:
On waking up way too early this morning, the Rude Pundit turned on the MSNBC to watch the Morning Joe, mostly because Mika Brzezinski always has this hot pissed-off look, like she was just fucked by a premature ejaculator, and there were the jowls of Pat Buchanan hypnotically bobbling from side to side as he yelled at the Rude Pundit about how oh-shit-it's-just-soooo-goddamned important that Barack Obama and/or Rahm Emmanuel and/or David Axelrod and/or the puppy candidates answer questions about what they didn't know and when they didn't know it about the scandal involving Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, who, don't you know, is a Democrat. Even whatever damn moderately liberal guest there said that Obama had to address it. Brzezinski, wanting to get back to her vibrator to finish the job her lover couldn't, nodded and Joey the Scar agreed.

It's a refrain you keep hearing in the DC punditry, in the mainstream media, and from desperate Republicans and other right wingers looking for any way to scratch the Obarmor of the President-elect. Politico's got "7 Blago questions for Obama." CNN's Campbell Brown says, "Obama's response insufficient in governor scandal." The RNC chair says Obama "should immediately disclose any and all communications his transition team has had with the governor’s office along with any Service Employees International Union officials involved in the matter."

And Sean Hannity exclaimed, more or less, "Look at me, everyone. I can lick my own taint" when he was talking to the Chicago Tribune's Jill Zuckman: "Let me go through this with you. It's another — it's acceptable, Bill Ayers is just an accepted professor in the neighborhood. Louis Farrakhan is viewed as somebody that has political influence, that's OK. The corrupt land deal with Tony Rezko, that's OK. This doesn't raise eyebrows. It's — is it just somebody like Sean Hannity sitting on the outside saying this doesn't look right?"

We've indulged all of these children for long enough here.

Yesterday alone, the Rude Pundit heard from three people who lost their jobs directly because of this economy that's ripping apart like a cum-drenched tissue rubbed too hard on a quickly shrinking cock. Meanwhile, southern (mostly) Republican Senators, including noted whoremonger David Vitter of Louisiana, who come from "right to work" states (shorthand for "Fuck you, unions"), are coming up with reasons to block an auto industry loan that's less than 2% of the assloads of free cash given to the financial sector. It's like a college girl agreeing to give anal to her boyfriend even though it hurts her and then threatening to break up with him because he left the toilet seat up. (A quick note to Alabama's Richard Shelby, Tennessee's Bob Corker, and the rest who are threatening a filibuster or other bill blockage: you really don't wanna piss off the UAW. It'll make Norma Rae look like a kiddie beauty pageant.)

The point here, getting back to the Blagojevich/Obama nexus of nothing, is that, speaking for the vast majority of America, we don't give a fuck. Unless you have Barack Obama on a recording saying, "Hey, Rod, I'll give you a hundred grand and three blow jobs from Michelle if you appoint my person to the Senate," then the rest of the nation thinks, "Let Illinois work it out and leave us the fuck alone." Because, see, if you're facing foreclosure after whatever brief grace period your bank is giving you so they don't look like complete cocksuckers over the holidays, the imminent end of your unemployment benefits, a COBRA that's chowed up your savings and your credit card limits, and the only prospect for the future is that shit's gonna get worse before it gets better, do you really give a happy rat's fuck if the President-elect's spokesman was right or wrong on whether or not Obama said jackshit to Rod Blagojevich?

Didn't the Republicans learn with the Clinton "scandal"? No one cared about the legalities of civil suit perjury. And the media and the right wing were screaming at us to care, that the fabric of society would be rent and demons would roam the land, ripping our children apart and dining on their luscious guts if we allowed Bill Clinton to get away with it. It didn't work.

But, hey, motherfuckers, if you still think it's 1998, you go right the fuck ahead. More people were fat and happy then, and they still didn't want any part of your selfish impeachment tantrum. Now, when everyone's wanting an answer or two to the crises here and the ones that are about to slam us in the face like a hurricane of shit, it's beyond childish and just downright dangerous to demand that we get sidetracked into obvious distractions.