Look, you get to the weekend and you think, "Damn, I wish there was just a little more rudeness I could squeeze out of that motherfucker." Jesus, how many times do I need to tell you: join the Rude Pundit Patreon page.
For $1 a month, you get a never-blogged Patreon-only post once per month, along with an occasional audio Rude Storytime. (Yes, the word "rude" will be used a few more times.)
For $3 a month, you get a weekly Patreon-only post, and even more audio Rude Storytime. My voice, in your ears, like a tender lover. Or an overly talkative cabbie. New storytime this weekend, along with a new blog post.
For $5 a month, you get all of the above, plus extended interviews from Another Goddamn Podcast. Upcoming interviews will feature some hilarious writers and comedians, awesome Tweeters, and maybe a serious political pundit or two.
For $10 a month, you get all of that, eternal gratitude, and, when I put together my upcoming Rude Pundit live show, a free ticket.
Donate more than that and I might be obligated to do weird sex things with you. I'll have to check Patreon's TOS.
I'm getting close to the magic number of donations where I can afford to hire someone to edit the podcast so they can be pumped out at a faster clip than one whenever-I-goddamn-well-get-around-to-it.
And if you're someone who's all like "Fuck that monthly donation shit. I just wanna give my hard-earned cash right away and be left the fuck alone," you can donate at PayPal by clicking the button over there or this link right here.
You give $50 or more, and I'll send you a novella-long collection of last year's written posts. Over 60 pages of, you guessed it, rudeness, punctuated with drinking, a few drugs, and the baffling world of QAnon, along with talk about movies, music, and other pop culture shit, as well as tales about horrible people and about lovely people. Oh, and how I was a mall Santa.
I've already sent it out to about a dozen donors. It's like getting a Rude Pundit book except more expensive. But you'll know that you have helped keep me drunk, high, and angry, and, really, isn't that about all we can ask for in the USA in 2019?
(Big thanks to everyone who has donated so far. You are like angels who fuck, and those are the best kind.)
