We've become numb to the shitstream of babbling insanity that flows from the mouth of Donald Trump and into the anxious ears of his demented fanatics. However, whenever we think that he can't go any lower, stupider, crasser, or crazier, he always pushes that line below sea level, to the point where I think it's gone through the other side of the earth and is heading into space. But our general reaction to something like the Fast Food Feast he force-fed the Clemson football team has a predictable arc, from "What the fuck? Are you fucking kidding me?" to "Goddamn, this is so fucking embarrassing" to "Well, now that I think about it, did I expect that fucker to do anything else?"
Still, Trump's speech Monday at the American Farm Bureau Federation convention in New Orleans was epically nuts, even by Trump standards.
Here he is right after getting laughter for mocking the media, veering into horror: "Women and children are being ruthlessly exploited at our southern border by vicious coyotes -- who would think of this? Human traffickers. Now, when you hear the words 'human traffickers,' you think about 1,000 years ago, 2,000 years ago." Yes, I know. 160 years ago, tops. I know, although most of us probably have no issue using the phrase "human traffickers" for, say, Russian mobsters.
And then shit got weird. Like spooky weird. "And they come in through our southern border into our country. And they'll have women taped -- their mouths with duct tape, with electrical tape," the President of the United States, the leader of the free world, the head of the greatestest country in the history of the universe or whatever the fuck we say now, informed us. "They tape their face, their hair, their hands behind their back, their legs. They put them in the backseat of cars and vans, and they go -- they don't come in through your port of entry because you'd see them."
I'd like to think that more than a few people in that audience thought, "The fuck does this pervy shit have to do with farms?" And maybe a few more thought, "I sure could use some seasonal workers. Is that how I'll have to get 'em now?"
Trump's dark vision of the nightmare everyone has lived until he came along continue as he described pre-Trump treatment of veterans. He said of people who work for the VA (I think - he's not real definite about his subjects), "For decades and decades, somebody could do anything they wanted. They can steal, they could abuse our veterans, they can be sadists, they can do whatever they want and you couldn't fire them." It's not true, but, how much does this man think about how sadistic people can be?
Then, after seeming to be done talking about the wall and immigration and having moved on to other subjects like vets and tax cuts, he went right back to talking about the wall and immigration. He answered those fantasy farmers by telling them about their field workers: "You need those -- you need people to help you with the farms. And I'm not going to rule that out. I'm going to make that easier for them to come in and to work the farms. You've had some people for 20, 25 years. They're incredible. Then they go home and they can't get back in. That's not going to happen." He offered no real plan except "For the people that work the farms, that have been here, that have gone through this very short but good process, that are going to help our country, it's going to be easier for them to get in that what they have to go through now." And he assured them, "I know a lot about the farming world," which is such a blatant lie that God should have dropped a tractor on him. Except there is no God, as we know now.
He seriously just kept going on fuckin' immigration, as if there is nothing else to talk about. He mocked asylum seekers, lying that only 2 percent come back for their court hearings. "And those people, you almost don't want, because they cannot be very smart," he said in his dickish way, mocking them for following the law. "Two percent. Two percent. Two percent come back. Those two percent are not going to make America great again, that I can tell you." The motherfuckers in the audience laughed and clapped because fuck those immigrants who work your fields, right, Farmer Monsanto?
You think this stops? You think the cruelty and the savagery ever stops? Here he is describing when a man intentionally drove his car into people on a running path in New York City: " Hits a whole group of people purposely, screaming all sorts of things that they scream. And 8 people died; 12 or 13 were injured. Nobody talks about the injured. You know, some of the injured lost legs, lost arms. You know, this is -- they say, Oh, well, 12 were injured. You know, like, injured -- you think, like, a headache. No, no. They lost arms. They lost legs. One lost two legs. So 12 were horribly injured."
You know, President Obama should have described how the children were torn to pieces by bullets at Sandy Hook Elementary. Maybe that's how barbaric we need to be to make a point.
And he talked about his election victory in 2016. And, weirdly, how gas prices wouldn't have gone down if Hillary Clinton were president. And how terrible Democrats want open borders and crime and how they're to blame for the government shutdown he specifically took the blame for before it happened. And all the lies, so many lies, about people who cried when they talked to him, about Pakistanis being caught at the southern border, about every fucking thing, ranting like a street corner preacher about to have a stroke, all to applause and guffaws.
You'd think a bunch of farmers and farm industry people would know bullshit when they saw it. But I guess if you've been around it all the time, you can't tell when there's a turd in front of you.
