Trump Broke It, So He Owns It

The reason that Trump and the Republicans bore the blame for the government shutdown is simple: everyone knows who took the nation hostage. It's pretty fuckin' easy to figure out who the kidnapper is and who is the family of the victim. The kidnapper is the one who demands a ransom. A kidnapper doesn't demand to pay someone or he'll kill the hostage. That's not the way this shit work. So Trump wanted money for his wall in exchange for agreeing to reopen the government. Republicans were cool with it until shit started to fall apart. And Democrats, led by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, said no fuckin' way, terrorist.

So the majority of Americans, most of whom were never fooled by Donald fuckin' Trump, understood who the kidnapper was. And it was absurd when people like Rep. Steve "I Got Shot and It Made Even More of a Skeevy Son of a Bitch" Scalise said that Pelosi was holding the State of the Union speech "hostage." The government was closed and you're making a fuss because a giant orange baby won't get to have a hissy fit in front of the cameras? Fuck you.

Pelosi put on her stiletto pumps and stomped Trump's tiny scrotum. She stomped Mitch McConnell's saggy scrotum. She stomped Stephen Miller's bald scrotum. It was a scrotum-stomping-palooza, and no Republican sack went unstomped by Pelosi. You could see the look in the faces of the GOP, that look that they were no longer sure they had both their balls, after the shutdown agreement was made. 

Even now, Trump's pretty sure he ain't getting a goddamn wall/barrier/Lincoln log fence out of the Democrats. And the case for a national emergency is undone by Trump touting how secure the border is and the fact that, if it were a, you know, emergency, then by definition shit can't wait, yet we've waited.

Now, in the wake of the end of the shutdown, I'm sure Trump and the GOP are hoping everyone will forget that they were the ones who decided to shove 800,000 workers and the GDP off a cliff. But, as disgraced Secretary of State Colin Powell once warned about Iraq, the Pottery Barn rule says that if you break it, you brought it. It's mostly been used to refer to nations attacked in the worthless wars we've gotten into. But, pathetically, with Trump, it means the goddamned United States. 

Let's not get into how every single policy that comes out of this White House has fucked this country. Or how every judge that is rammed through the Senate is one more brick in a wall cutting us off from civil and other rights. No, just in terms of the 35-day government shutdown, Trump fucked the nation even more and harder than he had already fucked it with the tax cut.

Start with the personal toll taken on the workers and government contractors (many of whom likely won't get paid). If you've ever lived paycheck to paycheck (and most of us have or do because, fuck, America), you know that anxiety, that sense of being unmoored, and there is no guarantee that Trump won't just do it again for shits and giggles and because Ann Coulter no longer masturbates furiously, savagely, painfully to his photo. Plus, workers likely racked up a bunch of credit card debt, probably more than a few payday loans, and that's interest that's gonna haunt them for a long time. Stress and debt, stress and debt, motherfuckers, the American way. And let's not leave out the businesses that rely on government workers to survive. They've gotta play catch-up, too, without getting back pay.

The backlog of work for the federal government is insane. From the literally millions of pieces of mail that the IRS needs to open (including something from yours truly) to delayed USDA home loans to the damage to national parks (it may take the Joshua Tree National Park 300 years- yeah, that's right - to recover from the fuckin' yahoos who knocked down the fuckin' Joshua Trees there and they fuckin' poached herons from the Everglades) to the amount of research that was hindered and will be hindered by a mountain of grant applications and other shit that needs to be processed or shitcanned to the wildfires that will happen because the shutdown happened during the main brush-clearing season. Every agency that was shutdown now is behind on work that most of them were already behind on. And who the fuck is gonna want to work for the government if they think at the whim of a maniac they can be forced to go without a paycheck for a month? Good luck with recruitment.

This is why a business mogul should never be president. The government ain't a corporation. The government ain't responsible for maximizing the profits of a few. It's gotta keep working in order to make life better for the most people, ideally. And when you try to make a deal, there are lives, not just wallets, at stake. If you don't understand (or care) about the difference, get the fuck out of government.

It's a goddamned fiasco. Trump has broken the country. And as much as he blames pretty much every president who came before him, a big majority of Americans seem to know who really bumblefucked into the shelves and wrecked the joint.