Shocker: Jerry Falwell, Jr, May Not Be a Good Christian, According to His Own Definition of "Christian"

Let us pause for just a moment to consider Jerry Falwell, Jr. The son of one of the great con artists in American history, Falwell is a wealthy man because he and his fraud of a father suckered the credulous worms who believed in their grifting god. They got poor people to send them their welfare and their Social Security and whatever pennies they could scrape from under the couch cushions, all because they thought it might get them a little dribble of the pissing grace of the Falwells' Jesus, and then they dared to tell the poor bastards that they would be damned to hellfire for eternity if they so much as gazed longingly at someone of the same sex. Or the opposite sex, if they were married. Or if they smoked a joint.

Yet here is Falwell, Jr., in an interview with the Washington Post, saying the poors aren't worth shit: "A poor person never gave anyone a job. A poor person never gave anybody charity, not of any real volume." All you can think is "Bitch, please, then put away the fuckin' donation plate."

And the solution to helping the poor is found through, of all the fuckers of mothers in the motherfucking world, Donald Trump. "I can’t imagine him doing anything that’s not good for the country," Falwell said, demonstrating a stunning lack of both imagination and reality. By the way, Liberty University, the bullshit place that bullshit evangelical conservatives get their bullshit degree from and that Falwell leads, says in its student "honor" code, "Sexual relations outside of a biblically ordained marriage between a natural-born man and a natural-born woman are not permissible." The Liberty University Law School, the bullshit place that bullshit evangelical lawyers get their bullshit law degrees, goes even further: "Non-marital sexual relations or the encouragement or advocacy of any form of sexual behavior that would undermine the Christian identity or faith mission of the University constitute morally inappropriate sexual misconduct and constitute violations of this Personal Code of Honor."

But Donald Trump, who bragged about how hot the chicks he banged were and quite possibly did more sexual behavior to undermine Christian identity (whatever the fuck that is) than a Miami bar full of pool boys, is awesomeness personified.

Which brings us to the pool boy.

It seems that Falwell and his wife "befriended" a pool attendant at the Fontainebleau Hotel in Miami (which does have a lovely pool, so good job, pool workers). Now that's fine, even charming, in an elitist way, that the ultra-rich Falwells met Giancarlo Granda and became pals. Except things went a little further. Not only did they start flying Granda around on their private jet to events, but they staked him $1.8 million to purchase a hostel in Miami. 

That hostel, by the way, is a total dive that welcomes LGBT and straight people and has a sign out front declaring "No religion" allowed on the premises. Indeed, drug use and sexual promiscuity are generally rampant there. Which makes the whole investment by the Falwells in 2012 goddamned weird. Unless...

I'm not saying that Jerry Falwell, Jr., and his wife Becki are fucking Granda, the pool boy. I'm not saying that Falwell is sucking Granda's dick or Falwell is fucking him in the ass while he's eating out Becki. I'm not saying that Granda is fucking Becki while Falwell masturbates in a corner. I'm not not saying that either. I'm saying that there is a distinct possibility that this is happening.

(Note: Open relationships, polyamory, and menage a whatevers can be beautiful, amazing things. This ain't about shaming people who do that. However, when the potential participants have made and continue to make much coin condemning others for their own behavior, well, fuck 'em. And not in a nice way.)

Why is Giancarlo Granda and his relationship to the Falwells significant in any sense other than to point out their hypocrisy? I mean, hypocrisy is to Republicans as cold is to ice cream, so no biggie, right? However, the other layer here is what makes this intriguing as fuck.

It seems that Michael Cohen, the now-chastened former Trump fixer and fucker-upper, had a kind of consultation relationship with Falwell. And Cohen talked with Falwell about a lawsuit related to the hostel. And he secured the evangelical leader's endorsement of Trump very early, shocking some in the evangelical community because, well, shit, it's Donald fuckin' Trump.

Oh, and there's a photo, allegedly, of Granda with Trump, finishing the circle.

Now, I'm not saying that Michael Cohen threatened to go public with information about the Falwells fucking Granda and blackmailed Falwell to endorse Trump early.

But I'm not not saying that.