For Many Conservatives, Obama Is a Narcissist and Trump Is Not

The Rude Pundit was listening to Donald Trump on one of his many phone interviews, which you know he's doing from his golden shitter while getting vigorous blumpkins from a rotating cast of Asian boys, all of whom he's named "Kato," as in, "Kato here is too tired to keep sucking my awesome dick. Get me another Kato and a Cialis injection." Trump was saying, as he usually does, that he's got incredible poll numbers, that he'll be the best at everything, that "you're gonna love" everything he's gonna do when he's president, that motherfucking Muslims will cower at his amazing strength and Mexicans will sacrifice nude virgins to him at the altar of the wall he made them build. Or some such shit.

"Huh," the Rude Pundit thought, not too hard, deciding as he was between 'shrooms and peyote (or, fuck it, both, which is always and never a wise move) before going to see the new Star Wars. "I wonder what people would say if President Obama talked like Trump." In an interview Friday, broadcast today on NPR, Obama admitted that he hasn't been communicating his ISIS strategy well-enough. And that's been a problem throughout his presidency: He's doing something efficiently and well, yet he doesn't take the time to tell everyone how fucking great it is.

So Obama could have Trump-ed his shit up. He could have talked about how he's killing the fuck out of ISIS members (and lots of families, for that matter) and they are gonna fear the USA because of him. He could have done this for his entire presidency: "I'm telling you, this health care program is the best we've ever had in this country. Your children will be thanking me for making sure their moms and dads are still alive" or "I told you I'd kill Osama bin Laden. Yeah, who's the tough guy now, huh?" or "You remember Bush's approval ratings at this point in his presidency? He'd murder his mother to have my numbers."

But we already know the hategasm that would have been jizzed out of conservative cocks because, even without acting like Trump, it's an article of faith among the right-wing that President Obama is a crazed narcissist whose self-love has helped destroy the country. A very quick Google search reveals that over and over again. Obama is a "wounded, vengeful narcissist" who has allowed his ego to ruin America's relationship with Israel and the world. Between diagnosing him as having a psychological condition to counting the number of times he says "I" or "my" in a speech, Obama is obviously just forcing us to live in his delusional world.

It's curious, then, that so many conservatives who were quick to call Obama an egomaniac or worse have held their tongues when it comes to Donald Trump, a man who brags about how many Twitter followers he has, how many people were at a rally, how they applauded for him, and how much money he has. In fact, some of the very same commentators who slammed Obama are silent about Trump.

For instance, over on the conservative cum towel, Breitbart, Mike Flynn wrote in September 2012, "Obama is going to lose in November. His obsession with himself is a big reason why." After that prescient prediction, Flynn still had a job, and he was allowed to join Breitbart's Brigade of Trump Ball Buffers. In November of this year, he said about Trump's desire to send Americans to war in Syria and against ISIS, "Donald Trump has staked out the strongest positions on both questions. It isn’t surprising then that his fortunes are rising in the nomination contest." No mention was made of Trump egotistical rantings.

At the ironically named website American Thinker, back in March 2010, James Lewis wrote that Obama is "not be able to emotionally tolerate any real limits on his need for self-aggrandizement and power." Yet just last week, Lewis said of Trump, who sues or threatens or demands apologies from anyone who slights or confronts him, "Donald Trump is most intuitive person to run run for president since Harry Truman...His fans intuitively trust Trump more than Obama, because Trump is just like their Uncle George, the big talker who is really a nice guy at heart." And then molests your asshole. The Rude Pundit is not going to attempt a diagnosis because he's not a psychologist, but he knows fucking delusional pricks when he sees 'em, and James Lewis is barking fucking mad.

At another conservative website, the Independent Sentinel, blogger S. Noble (which is probably not the real name, but just an oh-so-cool pseudonym that his teabagging friends love) said in February that Obama "can’t see reality because he is a narcissist who only cares about fundamentally transforming the United States." But Donald Trump? Earlier this month, Noble wrote, "We owe Trump for making illegal immigration and refugees a topic of discussion. It was completely ignored until he spoke up and it obviously is an important topic to Americans." Yes, Trump's the statesman here.

Over and over, we see the rank hypocrisy of conservatives. In this case, it's that a loudmouth white fascist can talk about how great he is and it's just dandy, even endearing, but if the black president who was twice elected merely implies that he's got good policies, that uppity Negro needs to be humbled and told to remember his place.

The pathetic mewlings of the right become more ludicrous by the day.