What If You Started a Culture War and Nobody Came?:
As it should, this all comes back to Janet Jackson's star-pierced boob. Because the right wing's mock "outrage" over the incident has allowed it to show its true face: a scolding parent looking around at American citizens as a bunch of rude children. When the FCC announced hearings on said starry teat, most Americans looked at each other with a quizzical "what the fuck?" Today the House Subcommittee on Telecommunications and the Internet is holding a hearing to talk about the FCC's enforcement of rules against "broadcast indecency." This, of course, comes on the heels of mega-evil corporate entity Clear Channel's decision to suspend the Howard Stern Show for violating Clear Channel's "zero tolerance" policy towards vulgarity. This takes Stern off in six major markets, including South Florida and Pittsburgh. (Not to get into a whole debate over Howard Stern and his show since even Stern recognizes that this is about so much more than his show, but here's a place with a summary of what has gone on this week on the program in good stalker fan obsessive style: go to the part about Rick Saloman, Paris Hilton banger. Also, it's fascinating that Clear Channel has turned on Stern soon after Stern turned on Bush; lately, Stern has been firmly anti-Bush and has been talking about electing Kerry to replace W.)

Add into the mix the fact that the whole marriage "protection" amendment was met with a collective yawn, and Senators (of both parties) were lining up to oppose it, pretty much dooming it. And you know now that Republicans are looking to cut their losses, that Bush is a sinking ship, and it's time to get away from its drag.

Here's what has happened - jump on, it's gonna be a fast train: Clinton's impeachment was about political posing. Like kidnapped Mexican girls forced to finger themselves for MiniDV cameras to please Americanos in Peoria, Republicans used the blow job lie as a way to please the fundamentalist base and conservative scolds who give them money and hand jobs. And it was a symbolic way to punish Clinton for the sins of the boomer generation. Except one thing they didn't count on: Americans didn't care. They didn't want Clinton kicked out of office. Americans knew that it was a set-up, and Congress backed down after impeachment. Bush is installed in office. One of the reasons he even got as many votes as he did is because the right was successful in making people so disgusted with the political system, they stayed home. Everyone realizes they elected a doofus. 9/11 happens. Bush and his cronies use it as an excuse to enact every evil policy they've wanted, under the guise of national security. Then we find out there's no WMDs, that Bush lied to our faces, constantly, repeatedly, every chance he got, he had lied to us. And that means he has lost all credibility. So what's left for Bush, once he has been raped by the facts? Ahhhh, Janet shows her titty, Massachusetts says it loves the gays. Let's start the culture wars. Except this: like Clinton's blow job, most Americans don't fucking care about Janet's titty. And, really, if pushed, most Americans don't want their consitution amended to limit freedoms (and let's not even get started on that slippery, slime-covered slope). And (this is not unrelated) most people will not go to see Mel Gibson's Jesus-gets-beaten flick because of overriding faith in Christ - they'll go for the reason people go to snuff films: to see how cool the violence is. Bush is wrong. Bush has miscalculated. His ass is showing. And the Clear Channel ban on Stern is going to be a major pain in the ass for Bush because of how closely aligned Clear Channel and the adminstration are.

Why? Because the ban on the Stern show is one of those ways, like environmental disasters and the bizarre popularity of Adam Sandler, that we can see how the administration's support for corporate megalomania has an effect on one's day-to-day lives. Michael Powell's repressed libido might just be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

Either that, or the Bushies know they're gonna steal the election, so it doesn't matter what the fuck they say or do anymore.

And, p.s., Rosie O'Donnell's gettin' hitched to a chick in San Francisco.