2/17/2004

Spinning as Fast as They Can:
The fascinating thing about George Bush's visit to NASCAR's Daytona 500 was not the pathetic sight of the President trying to be tough by proxy one more time. Nope, it was the metaphor of the spin out and crash and Bush's proximity to it that was most telling. Because, see, we're all sitting here now, in this America of ours, and we're watching that spin and crash happen in the Bush Adminstration. And like the driver in the seat of the twisting piece of wreckage that used to be a stock car, his anus clenched, hoping he doesn't go up in flames, hoping he doesn't piss himself into shame, Bush is reeling from all of the spin and slam.

It happens so fast these days, the statements, the lies revealed, the hyprocrisy shown. Take, for instance, the first Bush/Cheney ad attacking John Kerry as "unprincipled" for taking special interest money in his career while, now, railing against special interests. The ad even implies that Kerry supported policies for those who donated money. Of course, as the Washington Post and others showed within days of the ad's web debut, George Bush and Dick Cheney saying someone is beholden to the teat of corporate cash is a little like a diseased crack whore saying that some women who marry for money can be called "prostitutes." Bush has taken more than four times what Kerry has taken in lobbyist money. Oh, and the Bush administration has directly rewarded "Pioneer" donor lobbyists with ambassadorships and other jobs.

Take, for instance, Terry Holt, Bush's campaign press secretary, who, in a New York Times article on the lack of attacks ads on John Kerry from other Democrats, commented, "[Kerry] comes out of the primary without having answered the most basic questions regarding his readiness to be president, his clarity of philosophy. Those could be a problem down the line," adding that the Bush campaign would label Kerry "a liberal Massachusetts senator with a very lightweight record of accomplishment." Wow. Kinda mean, huh? But here's Holt on CNN this morning, saying that while Kerry runs ads making "personal attacks" on Bush (which sounds like Kerry has an ad saying "Bush is a big pussy and he cries when he comes," which, fun as it might be, Kerry does not), "I think people in this country want a hopeful message. They want to look forward. They don't want to go back to a time when everybody was shooting bullets at each other and it was a very negative campaign." So, like, they'd have to go back in time, to, say, last Thursday, when the attack ad came out?

Take, for instance, the debacle over the chair of the Bush's Council of Economic Advisors saying that "outsourcing" jobs, that is, sending them overseas and away from the greedy hands of unemployed Americans, is good for the economy. Ahh, it's always nice to see a glimpse into the unmitigated greed-filled soul of the White House in all its Mammon worshipping sliminess. Then came the backpedaling, because, you know, this is an election year, with the adviser offering an apology and Bush distancing himself again from another comment of his own people.

Oh, how this list could continue, with the triumphalist release of National Guard records that show that when Bush bothered to show up, he loved him some fighter jets, givin' him that coke-like rush of adrenaline that only high quality blow would be able to provide for him later in life. Of course, those records are still incomplete, and only the memories of those who claim they saw Bush in Alabama are valued.

Spin, baby, spin and try to avoid the wall and the other cars. Try to get control of the spin, 'cause once you smack the wall and the tires come off and the smoke starts pouring, you're out of the race.