Scraping Bottom:
The abstract concept of "only" 344,000 people applying for first-time unemployment benefits is being explained by "economists" as a sign that the weather has gotten better. Oh, and the economy is "sluggish" but improving. The Rude Pundit believes the number has dropped because employers are simply running out of people to fire. We've reached critical mass, that point where industries will not be able to function with less employees.

Of course, this bottoming out comes on the heels of the Bush administration's retreat from its ballsy lie that the economy would create 2.6 million jobs this year. Now follow the spinning ball of logic that is the Bush White House: the Economic Report of the President is sent to Congress last week. Of the motherfucking President. But now that same motherfucking President is saying he was wrong and his vile, depraved pile of horse feces called Scott McClellan defends said President by saying that the policies are the ones that Bush stands by, but it's the final outcome that's different. Said the horse feces, "The president is not a statistician." No, that's pretty fucking obvious by the way numbers make his face get all scrunchy. But it'd be nice if he acted like a President, huh? This is like when your family tells you, "We're going on a trip to Disneyland," and then packs you in the car, only to cross the border into Tijuana to sell you into sexual slavery, where you can suck the cocks of terminally psychotic American executive-pedophiles for pennies on the dollar. See? They're both road trips, just with different outcomes. One involves Mickey Mouse. The other involves a short life of constant beatings, sodomy, and torture. But, goddamn, at least you get to ride in the car. Isn't that good enough for you?

Tomorrow: A true tale from the Bush superhighway of economic doom.