The Rude Pundit's Haiku Review of 2015

Yes, yes, yes, good people of the earth, it's that time. As another godforsaken year in our seemingly endless fall into the pit created by the motherfuckers and the incest babies of the right comes to its hilarious conclusion, the Rude Pundit won't write up a bunch of faux meaningful bullshit that looks back and attempts to find "wisdom" in our follies.

Oh, no, no, no. He turns to the comfort of the simplest of poetic forms, the good-things-come-in-small-packages haiku. Three lines. Five syllables, then seven syllables, then five. They can be tender and thoughtful or they can be vicious pricks, but that's how the Rude Pundit believes it's best to boil down everything we've been through. For example:

Chicago (and Elsewhere)

"Do black lives matter?"
The white cop wondered. His gun
Was still smoking hot.

Or maybe:

Planned Parenthood Lives

Baby parts are lies.
The blind believe videos,
Not women, those whores.

You get the gist? So the Rude Pundit is going to post some of his own haiku coming up. Shit, there might be one that's just the word "schlonged" 17 times.

And he invites you, the rude readers, to contribute your own three line ditty, with or without title. If he likes it (and that is totally dependent on mood, whim, and amount of alcohol consumed), he'll post it here on the ol' blog-stead. It's just gotta be a real haiku (no fuckin' cheating and squeezing in an extra syllable) and it's gotta be about something from this year.

And you'll totally get credit in whatever way you like. Usually, it's whatever name you want and a place, like "Clit Monkey from Cheyenne, Wyoming" or "Jimmy from Scary Fuckin' Spider, Australia." If you want your website linked, sure, why the hell not.

Email your haiku to "rudepundit_at_yahoo_dot_com" and he'll put the best ones up starting on Wednesday.