Obama to the GOP: "Go Fuck Yourselves":
In February of 2007, the Rude Pundit wrote that Republicans were shitting blood over an Obama candidacy. Expect toilet sales to go through the roof this morning.

The face of Alex Castellanos, Republican stooge for Romney and CNN "analyst," really said it all. When he appeared after Barack Obama's DNC acceptance speech, he looked like a man who was about to vomit from being kicked so hard in the balls. "Whoever didn’t get picked for Republican VP today may be a lucky Republican," Castellanos said, although he may as well have said, "Oh, man, my nutsack."

Who could've figured out that Obama's strategy these last couple of months was to play rope-a-dope with John McCain? Let the GOP throw all the shit they can at him, the "celebrity" nonsense, the experience canard, all the lies about Obama's beliefs and plans: he took each blow. And then, in front of a Rolling Stones concert-sized crowd with millions of people watching at home, the man let loose.

For surely, beyond the "holy fuck, we nominated a black man" historic part of things, the most healing part of Obama's speech was not the muted version of his soaring rhetoric. Nor was it the infinitely ordinary and mostly safe laundry list of "shit what I wanna do." No, for Democrats, we needed to see a candidate directly and passionately tell the GOP and John McCain, in no uncertain terms, "Go fuck yourselves." When he looked out onto that ocean of support and said, "Tonight, I say to the American people, to Democrats and Republicans and independents across this great land — enough!" it was like a long-delayed orgasm finally shuddering through the entire body of the Democratic Party.

And then he took Karl Rove out to the woodshed, pulled out a switch, and smacked that big ass bloody. After talking about his life, he said, "I don't know what kind of lives John McCain thinks that celebrities lead, but this has been mine." After talking about the stupidity of America's strategy against terrorism, he said, "John McCain likes to say that he'll follow bin Laden to the gates of hell — but he won't even go to the cave where he lives." He mocked the Atwater/Rove reduction of politics to bullshit things that don't affect anyone's lives: "You make a big election about small things." And he fuckin' addressed McCain directly, taking on the digs at his patriotism, "So I've got news for you, John McCain. We all put our country first." When's the last time you heard a candidate call out another candidate like that?

The other major accomplishment of Obama's speech was that he didn't run away from the real role of government. In saying that Washington can be a force of positive change and progress in people's lives, he started to set fire to crazed pagan altars to Ronald Reagan that have been erected by both parties over the last three decades. He said that the good government can do "is the only reason I am standing here tonight." Citing the GI Bill, food stamps, and student loans, he made a case for liberalism as the transformative force it is supposed to be.

We can complain, and we should, about his failure to mention the damage to the Constitution, the Supreme Court, torture, and so many other major issues. We can say, and we should, that his promises of bipartisanship are another version of Clintonesque triangulation, progress, yes, but not progressive. Still, it's politics, man. Hell, at this point, we'll be lucky to get back to moderate-right in the White House. But it's good to know that Obama understands that you get nothing done if you don't get there.

After watching Mondale, Dukakis, Gore, Kerry, and, to a large extent, Clinton act like they were supposed to turn the other cheek again and again, it was goddamn cathartic to see a Democratic candidate reach up and grab the hand that was slapping him and say, "No, not this time around, motherfucker." No wonder the right didn't know how to react. It was like seeing a prison bitch grab his rapist and beat his head on the side of the bunk. Rove won't die easily, though. When they weren't being attacked, Republicans mocked John Kerry's military service, medals, and wounds. Imagine what they'll do when they're cornered.

Gird yer loins, motherfuckers, and break out the axes. We've joined the battle.