9/08/2011

Random Observations About Last Night's Republican Debate:
1. The moment of the NBC/Politico Rick Perry Debutante Ball last night that made the Rude Pundit say, "Fuck it" and take out the bong to fade into a sweet, smoky haze was towards the end, when Perry mentioned his execution record. 234 dead people. At least one of them innocent of the crime. And the audience applauded. Nay, cheered. All the good white people of Simi Valley, California, where the officers who beat the fuck out of Rodney King were acquitted by a jury of, sad but true, their peers, yeah, they love them some old-fashioned justice.

2. Texas is apparently a goddamn paradise of clean air with good-paying and plentiful jobs done by well-educated and healthy citizens who don't want or need insurance, with secure borders and justice for murderers and not a scorched hellscape of filthy air and water wrecked by profit-sucking corporations who vomit dirt into the sky, shitty minimum wage work done by poor, sick people whose kids are made stupid and pregnant. The Rude Pundit would rather suck a bear's cock than live in Texas. But, yes, they do kill murderers there.

3. The RoboRomney 2012 is a way better model than the RoboRomney 2008. They've made improvements in its ability to express emotion and to think on its feet. Of course, he's still just so fucking creepy, with his immoveable hair and forehead of doom. They haven't been able to quite get to "human" yet. Still, he's the only candidate that seems like a rational choice. But when the only thing one has to do to seem like the serious candidate is not say you're gonna wreck or eliminate Social Security, the bar is pretty friggin' low.

4. Goodbye, Michele Bachmann. It was fun. We'll all miss your batshit eyes and your inability to understand even the simplest facts of American history (which, by the way, would mean that, if you were an immigrant, by your own standards, you wouldn't be allowed in this country).

5. Ditto the rest.

5. Yes, Ron Paul was there.