Hypocritical, Cruel, and Buffoonish Responses from the GOP on Obama's Tax Plan:
So let's be sure we're absolutely clear here: when President Obama talks about raising revenue by having the wealthy pay their fair share, he is not talking about passing a single tax increase on individuals. What he is talking about is limiting certain kinds of deductions, closing loopholes, and allowing the Bush tax cuts to expire on people making over a million bucks a year. That's it. Yes, tax rates do return to a higher level on the very wealthy because the Bush tax cuts were allegedly designed to be temporary, enacted in flush times, but supposedly with a sunset just in case times were rough again. In other words, it was the model of "kick the ball down the road" legislating.

But to say that President Obama wants Congress to pass higher taxes is a lie. In fact, what he wants Congress to do is make the Bush-era tax cuts on the poor-to-merely wealthy permanent. If Congress doesn't do that, and Obama doesn't cave again on it, all the 2001 and 2003 tax cuts expire and the revenue crisis is over.

Of course, none of this is preventing the scumsucking pig fellaters of Congress from laying into the very moderate plan Obama proposed. Let's check out what the most heinous motherfuckers are saying.

Why, here's Rep. Joe Walsh, who takes European vacations with his girlfriend while avoiding his child support payments: "The President is in over his head and just isn't serious about helping American businesses create jobs." You know who else is in other their heads? Rep. Joe Walsh, who owes over $100,000 to his ex-wife to take care of his children. Most hilariously, Walsh says, "I would encourage the Warren Buffett types, who want to pay more in taxes, to write as large a check as they want to the federal treasury. Nothing is stopping them." You know who else should write a check that doesn't come from his campaign funds? Nothing says "motherfucker" like fucking over the mother of your kids.

Louisiana Senator and whore lover David Vitter said, "The president's plan is a grab bag of tax hikes in the middle of a recession, pure and simple." Like a large plastic bag where you can put an adult diaper? (Actually, the Rude Pundit wishes for the sake of easy jokes that Vitter had said what Rep. Jeff Landry said: "My beef is taking any money from any American at a time when our government is wasting money - not just wasting money but throwing it down the toilet." Beef? Toilet? That would have been comedy gold, baby.)

From the immoral to the imbecilic, it went. The usual suspects said the usual things. Rep. Joe "You lie" Wilson of South Carolina barked, "I'm just shocked at the level of tax increases. It's clearly just an effort to grow big government."

Unpack that statement, if your brain can wrap around it. Remember: there will be no "tax increases." The only thing that's happening is that a "temporary" tax cut might end and some other shit may going away. It's like saying that when your Groupon offer expires, it's a price increase on your sushi dinner. No, dick. You're just not getting it cheaper.

Of course, some "tax increases" are different than others. 'Cause, see, the payroll tax cut that Obama got as part of the extension of the Bush tax cuts is also sunsetting. That's a tax hike, no? No, you prole. The GOP is treating that cash for the middle class like it's a hooker with a sign that says, "Get hep-c here." Alabama Senator Jeff Sessions really did say, "If your debt is this large, I think you've gotta be very careful about adding debt." And Rep. Paul Ryan declared that the tax cut "didn't work."

Amazing how quickly they become agnostics when it comes to helping anyone but the rich.