Ways That the Scandals of Anthony Weiner and David Vitter Are Completely Different:
Oh, the innocent days of July 2007, when a darling of the religious right could not only weather a scandal where he got fucked by multiple hookers over the course of years, including, allegedly, while wearing diapers and being treated like an infant, but he could also be reelected with the full support of his supposedly religious party. Louisiana Senator David Vitter gets brought up quite a bit in these days of Weiner. But what Vitter did was far, far worse than anything Anthony Weiner even tried to do or expressed a desire to do in his most graphic messages. A comparison:

1. Give a little credit: Vitter never totally lied to the media at first. At a press conference on July 16, 2007, he talked in generalities, about sin and other shit (except the shit that was in the diapers he liked to wear when fucking hookers), but he didn't go on a media tour insisting on lies that he had created. Of course, the statute of limitations had run out on being able to prosecute him, which takes the already sub-gutter nobility level down a notch or two.

However, he did lie when he denied that he was seeing whores in New Orleans.

2. Republicans in Congress, despite the fact that most of them ran on bullshit "family values," did not call for Vitter to resign. Why? Because Kathleen Blanco, the Democratic governor of Louisiana, would have appointed a Democrat. Some idiot pundits predicted that Vitter would resign when Blanco left office. Nope. While they were condemning the shit out of Larry Craig for flirting in a men's room, Senate Republicans gave Vitter, who, let us remember, boned multiple hookers while married, a standing goddamn ovation at a private luncheon less than three weeks after the news broke about him.

3. Adulterer Rudy Giuliani on whoremonger Vitter on July 11, 2007: "I believe that this is a personal issue. We are going to have to hear from Senator Vitter." Vitter was working for Giuliani's campaign.

Giuliani in an interview with a Seattle TV station yesterday on Weiner: "I always thought there was something wrong with him. From the first time I met him...No one likes him...Democrats want to get rid of him...This is really weird behavior, and you shouldn't be in Congress if you're going to participate in weird behavior...Of course he should [step down]."

4. Biggest differences (as far as we know): Weiner never fucked anyone, never broke a law, and never did anything without the participation and consent of the women involved (and, sorry, tut-tutters like Sean Hannity who want to diminish young adults: a 20 year-old is a woman and sometimes those women fuck older people). The only victim here, prior to the media explosion, is Weiner's wife, Huma Abedin.

And you know what? Because this is about the private, legal behavior of a citizen, we don't know about the sex life and kinks of the Weiner-Abedin marriage. Maybe Abedin got off on Weiner flirting. Maybe they had a rule about open internet relationships. It ain't absurd. If not, then, as the mentioned before, Abedin is the only victim. Until Andrew Breitbart got involved and decided to make it his mission to fuck up a man for his private, legal life that in no way conflicted with his professed public stances on anything.

4a. We also don't know much about the hookers Vitter fucked. How exploited they were. How much they were coerced into their jobs. How much Vitter might have been participating in sexual slavery, even though he seems to have only gone to high-profile brothels.

There you have it: Liberal Weiner sent pictures of his hard cock and sexy messages in a game with women far away and, when he was caught, he lied about it to Wolf Blitzer. Conservative Vitter wore a diaper while he was fucked by hookers, probably involving strap-ons in his ass while he was covered in his own shit. Of course, Republicans would condemn the liberal. Vitter was merely enacting the Republican approach to governance.

(Side note to Breitbart: what a skeevy little poseur bitch you are, the Perez Hilton of politics, attempting for even a moment to appear noble by holding back the photo of Weiner's dick. But, of course, you were showing it off to anyone who wanted to see it because that makes you so much cooler and powerful. Man, Weiner may have fucked up in showing off his penis, but you're the one who sucks 'em.)