Advice to Democrats: You Wanna End the War? Destroy David Vitter First:
As we gear up for the post-summer BINO (Battle In Name Only) over the "supplemental appropriations" for the war in Iraq, it seems like Democrats, in the name of compromise (read: "ass-reaming"), are going to roll over on it with some kind of deal with "antiwar Republicans" that says, more or less, "Boy, Mr. President, sir, we really, really want troops to come home. Could you do that, pretty please?" Once again, with a large majority of the nation wanting the goddamn war over, we gotta ask, "Why the hell not just end it?" If Congress passes an appropriations bill with timelines and shit and Bush vetoes it, well, then there's no funding. If the Republicans wanna filibuster it, well, then there's no funding. It's the girly-named "Power o' the Purse" (which, seriously, sounds more like a Lindsay Lohan movie), and the nation's behind the presumptive antiwar position.
The Rude Pundit believes, to the bottom of his nutsack, that Joe Lieberman is the reason that Senate Democrats don't just play chicken with the President on the war, on torture, on anything related to Lieberman's idea of homeland security. The viciously pro-war "Independent Democrat" has faded into the background in the past few months, but you can fuckin' bet the ranch that he has Harry Reid's balls in a vice.
It's a simple equation - follow the bouncing ball of dishonor and deceit: Lieberman wants this war, wants it like a hard cock wants to do some fucking. If Democrats actually do something to stop the war, Lieberman will call foul, make a big goddamn show of embarrassing the Democrats, and jump ship to the Republicans. Then ya got a 50-50 Senate, with Tim Johnson back, and, factoring in the hulking, heavy-breathing presence of Dick Cheney as a presumptive tiebreaker, ya got split committees, probably with Republicans as chairs, as in early 2001. The ability to set the agenda is gone. The investigations are gone. All up in smoke in the fire started by a little man with a grudge. (No, the Rude Pundit ain't with the "Fuck Lieberman" crowd because...well, shit, he just said why.)
So Senate Democrats have gotta get rid of the Lieberman factor. With one more Democratic Senator, Lieberman will no longer control which way the wind blows until 2009.
And that's where David Vitter comes back into the equation. The oughta-be-disgraced, whoremongering Republican Senator from Louisiana has been embraced back into the Republican fold, as if he's a big goddamn hero for having kept his crimes hidden until after the statute of limitations had run out on him being arrested for soliciting hookers. Of course it's the basest sexual hypocrisy that Republicans went after Larry Craig because the Idaho Senator's case involved gay fucking and because Idaho's got a Republican governor and Louisiana's got a Democrat.
But here's the deal on Vitter: Republicans only have to stand by him until the end of the year. Louisiana elects a new governor this year, in 2007, with an open primary in October and a general election, if needed, in November. And you can sure as shit bet a Republican's gonna win post-Katrina and Rita, probably Bobby Jindal. So, in as much as the Rude Pundit does the prognosticatin', Vitter's gone in January, so that no Republican running for President has to deal with questions of Republican sexual hypocrisy (at least as relates to current scandals). And, barring any other surprises, the same Lieberman-centric Senate until 2009.
So here's the deal: Democrats have to go Rove on Vitter. They have only a few months to get him out of there, so it's time to bring out the political demons in a savage way that pussies like Bob Shrum have nightmares about. Get the prostitutes out in front of the cameras, talking to Larry King about how Vitter likes to shit himself in diapers and then get spanked while getting wiped by big-titted sluts. Get front groups to make ads about what a sleazy motherfucker Vitter is. Get outraged Senators talking to the pumpkinhead of Tim Russert about how it's just impossible to work with a man like Vitter. Take different angles: Barbara Boxer can talk about his exploitation of women, Mark Pryor or Ken Salazar can talk about how Vitter demeans the Senate by his presence and how can they be expected to hold their vomit in while working with a man like that.
Chase that motherfucker out of town and do it for a good cause: to end the war. You get rid of Vitter, you save American lives. Surely Democrats can wallow in the mud for a little while for such a noble end.
(By the way, the Rude Pundit doesn't give a fuck who Vitter and Craig want to fuck or where they want to fuck them and he thinks it's bullshit that we spend time and money on such shit, but because they cared so much about who we fuck and where we fuck them, well, then fuck Vitter and Craig.)