Random Observations on Last Night's Republican Panderthon:
The general consensus among the three people the Rude Pundit spoke to is that last night's Republican presidential debate was a dull, boring spectacle of watching idiots suck the farts out of each other's anuses. That last part might have been David Gergen. Either way, it informed us of nothing and it accomplished nothing, other than to make clear that Mitt Romney will be the Republican nominee. No one is gonna give two shits about any of this unless Sarah Palin gets in. And then only because either one looks forward to the campy joy of watching a moose-blowing fucktard beat the hell out of the English language or because one is dumb. But Romney's still the nominee.

Tim Pawlenty is a little bitch
When CNN jawline John King asked Pawlenty to explain why he called federal health care reform "Obamneycare," Pawlenty not only refused to utter the word or Mitt Romney's name, but he looked like a dude who just realized he was talking shit about King Kong while that hairy motherfucker was standing behind him.

Tim Pawlenty doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about
Really, none of them do. But Pawlenty was supposed to be the only serious challenge to the unbearable inevitability of Dole...McCain...Romney, yeah, Romney this time. But when asked about a federal right-to-work law, Pawlenty said he supported it and offered, "[F]or much of his life my dad was a Teamster truck driver. My brothers and sisters, many of them are in unions, I was in a union. We grew up in a blue-collar town. I understand these issues. My family were Reagan-Democrats, now most of them listen to Rush Limbaugh actually. But the point is, I understand these issues, but we don't have a government tell us what organizations or associations we should be in. We tell the government what to do."

Except that Minnesota, where they all lived, was not a right-to-work state, so Pawlenty and his family probably worked in closed shops and prospered because of precisely the opposite of what Pawlenty would like for the entire country.

The Tea Party is done:
The candidates themselves mentioned the Tea Party only twice and only in response to direct questions from King or a citizen-questioner. Santorum and Bachmann were the two who cared enough to talk about the Tea Party, and only briefly (even if Bachmann declared, "I am Queen High-Googly-Moogly of the Teabaggers. Now, present some balls"). The others couldn't give a fuck less. Sorry, gang. It's time to mothball the tri-point hats and muskets. Newt Gingrich doesn't love you anymore. Until he needs you.

States' rights do not apply to gay people
As expected, the most mind-boggling thing of the night was said by Michele Bachmann, who said, regarding gay marriage, "I do support a constitutional amendment on -- on marriage between a man and a woman, but I would not be going into the states to overturn their state law." So she wants to change the Constitution to prevent gay marriage, but it's cool if gays get married in states where they decide it's cool? That pretty much demonstrates that Bachmann doesn't actually understand how the Constitution works. The other candidates pretty much followed suit.

You know what? Fuck all these losers. Occasionally, something thoughtful and reasonable slipped through their nutzoid right-wing fellatio, like Newt Gingrich saying, "No serious citizen who's concerned about solving this problem should get trapped into a yes/no answer in which you're either for totally selling out protecting America or you're for totally kicking out 20 million people in a heartless way. There are -- there are humane, practical steps to solve this problem, if we can get the politicians and the news media to just deal with it honestly."

Of course, Gingrich refused to elaborate on what that middle of the road solution should be.