4/20/2010

No, Really, We Don't Want the Tea Parties to Stop Yet:
All over the glorious internets, where free expressionistas freely expresses their freedom without fear of being un-free (for now), there's a conservative meme that's developing nicely, like a pig farm cesspool. It's that, now that right wingers are the ones gettin' all marchy and shouty about things, liberals want them to shut up or want them to get shooty.

Cal Thomas, a man who looks for all the world like he's at the local porn shop contemplating whether he wants to buy the foot-long black vibrator with three settings or the one with turbo power added (Cal, babe, it's only a five-buck difference), writes this week in his "column" (if, by "column," you mean, "another trip down the sad highway of desperately staving off irrelevance") that the left believes that: "Now when the right becomes angry about what it sees as the systematic dismantling of the country through higher taxes, misspending (by both parties) and tone deafness, it is supposed to be setting the stage for the next Timothy McVeigh and is somehow illegitimate and outside constitutional boundaries."

Like a particularly ambitious Pomeranian that's trying to drag around an entire cow leg, Thomas scribbles like he's onto something, even going to the well of rape allusion: "If you don't like President Obama's policies, you are a racist who is setting him up for assassination by a neo-Nazi who is waiting in the (right) wings for sufficient inspiration. You should be lying down and taking it, because Obama wants only the best for all Americans."

Slightly less evolved than Thomas, more of a fish to Thomas's lizard, Mona Charen goes further, saying that Democrats actually want violence to occur at Tea Parties: "Democrats are reduced to warning that certain attitudes can lead to violence because there hasn't been any actual violence at the tea party rallies. All have been remarkably orderly and even friendly. You can almost feel the Democrats' frustration at this."

Everyone's jumping in on the act. Jonah Goldberg, a man who must never be able to wash the scent of Glenn Beck's ass from his nose, complains, "[D]issent has gone from being the highest form of patriotism under George W. Bush to the most common form of racism under Barack Obama." And he's the closest to being anywhere near correct about the left's attitude toward the teabaggers.

But the really funny part is that not a one of the writers above offers any real evidence where someone on the left says they want to deny the teabaggers the right to protest or take away their free speech or that they want the gun toters to start firing. Oh, sure, they might quote Bill Clinton saying that "the words we use really do matter, because there's this vast echo chamber, and they go across space and they fall on the serious and the delirious alike. They fall on the connected and the unhinged alike." He said this in a speech marking the anniversary of the Oklahoma City Bombing. Clinton later said he was disconcerted by threats on the lives of people in government, which is not, you know, generally considered protected speech, although mostly we overlook it in our impolite political discourse. Neither Clinton, nor anyone else, has said teabaggers should stop speaking or marching. Jesus, for most of them, it's the only exercise they get.

And you know why? It's because we wouldn't say that. What we do think is patently absurd is that they are marching and threatening and yelling about shit that's just not factually true. An example? When gay rights activists interrupted President Obama yesterday over his inaction on repealing the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" rule, that was protest over something real. When town hall screamers last summer were getting red-faced with their members of Congress over "death panels," that was about a lie. Now, was anyone dragged out of a town hall meeting because they insisted on repeating a lie and getting an answer about it? Fuck no. Speak more, good teabaggers, because you sound like dumb fucks.

We don't want violence. Jesus, we might get caught in the crossfire while we counterprotest, which we're allowed to do, sometimes in greater numbers than the actual supposedly massive tea party movement.

So, no, march and dissent away, motherfuckers. It's your right to stand in public and be an idiot who parrots the lies of those who are actually fucking up your lives. It's our job to figure out how to tap into that mass reserve of American stupid power and use it for our objectives. We just haven't figured out how to degrade ourselves enough to do it yet.