6/03/2006

Fifty More? Would You Fucking Stop It?:
John, John J. Miller, Johnny J, JJ, what the fuck ever, you over at the National Review, with your new list of Conservative Rock Songs #51-101, your sequel to the sad cry for help that is the list of 1-50. Listen to the Rude Pundit. It's not that we on the left are saying, as you put it, "Hands off my rock music, right-wing scum!" No, no, we said that back in the 1980s when the PMRC (led by Tipper Gore, you know) tried to get music like "Little Red Corvette" by Prince (in your new list) stigmatized, censored, banned, even, from the airwaves or out of the reach of teenagers, the young consumers whose minds might be influenced in a conservative direction by Prince's "cautionary tale," as you say.

No, no, you see, you can have Mike and the Mechanics, Rush, Extreme, Iron Maiden, Sammy Hagar, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Journey, the Hooters, and P.O.D. Really. Create a conservative radio station of the damned on satellite so you can fuck your wife to the Hooters. Try it. Nothin' says, "I want some righteous 'tang" like the Hooters.

Just, you know, back the fuck off on things like, say, the Police and the Dead Kennedys. Believe it or not, liberals kinda hated the Kremlin and Pol Pot, too. We hate all repression. We hate everyone who tries to tell us that liberation, like the kind represented by the fuck rhythms of rock and roll, is to be feared.

Oh, and shit, yeah, you can't even have Dylan in his born-again period. 'Scuse the Rude Pundit now - he's gotta get mighty stoned to his scratchy vinyl copy of Slow Train Coming.