Regarding Secrecy, Part 2 - the Times and the White House: America's Favorite Codependent Couple:
Okay, there's a couple of easy things here we can say about the whole kerfuffle about the New York Times "revealing" a "secret" program that the Bush administration itself had bragged about. For one, telling the world that the United States government is trying to track the bank trails and finances of alleged terrorists is about surprising a revelation as, say, that the soldiers in Baghdad are carrying guns. In other words, unless al-Qaeda is the stupidest group of terrorists ever (and we have pretty good evidence that it's not), then, really, and, c'mon, who gives a fuck?

For another, all the talk of "treason" is more worthless than a tight, squeaky fart out of Tucker Carlson's bow-tied asshole: is what the New York Times wrote "tantamount to waging war" against the United States? Was the intention to assist the enemies of the country? No and no. The intention was, actually, to inform all of us, including Bill O'Reilly and Michelle Malkin, that the government is watching every fucking thing we do. And to say, well, shit, maybe in a putative democracy, we ought to have some say in that.

But, shit, instead of wallowing in the pool of bile and spittle spewed by the right, let's take a little journey to analogy-land:

Surely, the relationship between the White House and the Times is like that of a dysfunctional straight couple: they fight, they bicker, the White House and his friends would say what a whore the Gray Lady was, how she never really loved the White House, until, after 9/11, the Gray Lady wanted to show the White House, show everyone, just how much she really loved him, so she said that the White House could fuck her any way the White House wanted to.

Oh, and in what savage ways the White House madly balled the Gray Lady, bending her over a pile of adminstration-leaked documents and using rolled up fake WMD reports to shove in her ass again and again. God, how the Gray Lady wanted more, wanted to prove to the White House that she was worthy of his love, even letting the White House's friend, the Iraqi National Congress, come over and get a luxuriant blow job from the Gray Lady while the White House kept fucking her from behind while the rest of the White House's buddies cheered on the gangbang, furiously masturbating each other at the sight. All the while, the White House's friends kept telling everyone who would listen that the Gray Lady could never do enough to pleasure the White House, that the little bitch wasn't really capable, but isn't it hot to see her try?

Yeah, from the outside, we all watched this little dance and kept shaking our heads, wondering when the Gray Lady could see that all she was good for was getting fucked - when was she gonna get her self-respect back and dump that bastard for good.

Now, now that the Gray Lady has gotten back some modicum of its self-respect, oh, how the White House and his pals have turned on her, trying to berate her, psychologically abuse her, make her be the good fuck puppet she used to be. Perhaps it'll work. Perhaps, in the run up to a war with Iran or a strike on North Korea, the Gray Lady'll cheer her man on.

But maybe, just barely maybe, the Gray Lady has remembered that she is her own woman, that she has stood on her own in other difficult times, that she doesn't need a man to make her fulfilled, and that the mutterings of the White House's pals don't amount to more than gnat shit under her toenails.

Still, what is it we've learned about dysfunctional couples through the years? That one of them is destined to try to please the other on and on. And perhaps all we can say is that you can't help those who won't help themselves.

Oh, and by the way, did the White House or Republicans say that Bob Novak committed treason back a couple of years ago? Just askin'...