Dick Cheney Will Fuck You In Your Sleep:
Let's get this straight once and for all: Vice President Dick Cheney is evil, purely, simply, in an essence so complete that one touch by his withered fingers would drag your screaming soul to hell. How do I know this? Because Cheney, with his stroke-victim smirk, stood before an audience of screeching buttboys known as the Heritage Foundation and actually said that if the United States had not reduced its own economy to rubble in pursuit of imperialistic goals in Iraq, a devastated country run by a psychotic thug, then we might face terrorist annhiliation: "That possibility, the ultimate nightmare, could bring devastation to our country on a scale we have never experienced." Then, in words calculated to warm the hearts of the hundreds of Americans who have already lost someone in Iraq, he added, "Instead of losing thousands of lives, we might lose tens of thousands or even hundreds of thousands of lives in a single day of horror." Then, blah, blah, blah, they had weapons, you know it because we say so, blah, blah, blah, now go fuck yourselves, I'm heading back to the cave. Check out the unadulterated horror here.

Do you get it? This scabrous cock with a weak heart was sent out to visit us, like our molesting uncle, the one with the cold hands who hugs us a little too tight while telling us to be good little boys and girls or the boogieman's gonna get us, all the while jerking off in the guest room to our baby pictures even though we can hear his orgasmic cries through the walls. He was dispatched to scare us into submission, to make sure we know goddamn well the wolf's a-comin' at some point so, fuckers, you better be paranoid and ready for your imminent fiery death. He's a disgusting little mole of a man, this Cheney, this oil-teat sucking bastard, this soft-speaking merchant of death whose cronies at Halliburton pass around the corpses of Iraqi children at board meetings so they can keep fucking that corpse, fucking that corpse until there's nothing left and then, goddamnit, someone better bring those board members the sweet, supple flesh of Iranian or Syrian children to fuck.

Yeah, you just remember: Uncle Dickie's comin' over tonight. You better make damn sure your room is clean, or he's coming upstairs to tuck you in.