Condi, You've Got Some 'Splainin' To Do:
So it's come to this: Bush and his administration riding around the country, trying desperately to convince us that Saddam Hussein was really, really, really bad, like he was about to send his henchmen to your house to fuck your dog right in front of your daughter, and that making Iraq the wealthiest of the fifty-one states in the U.S. was a good idea. Goddamn, it's so pathetic because Bush's fall from grace isn't even a tragedy - a character has to have some kind of nobility for that to happen, and, sorry, a coke-snorting, frat brother spanking, drunk-driving shitty businessman doesn't meet the minimum qualifications. Isn't this just an embarassment? Here's the President, the motherfucking President of the United States, in a speech today in New Hampshire, pissing and moaning about the media, who gave him a pass for two years and even now is just waking up from the toxic dust-fumed mind control of 9/11. "I acted because I was not about to leave the security of the American people in the hands of a madman. I was not about to stand by and wait and trust in the sanity and restraint of Saddam Hussein," says the Prez, while the rest of us think, wait a second, isn't our security actually in the hands of a madman? And, despite his admonitions that things are going better in Iraq than the media give credit for, it sucks when reality bites you in the ass.

Meanwhile, house-negro Condi Rice has been sent out to wave her hands and say ludicrous things like, "Saddam Hussein continued to harbor ambitions" to develop weapons of mass destruction. This is new: there's no weapons, there's no weapons programs, there's only ambitions. It's like saying that you harbor ambitions to fuck a hundred hot pieces of ass before you turn thirty. Hell, you may even buy a case of condoms, but, c'mon, look at you. All out of shape and shit - harbor all the ambitions you want, jack off to the photos, but you're never gonna have all that hot ass bobbing on your crank if you live to be a thousand.


Frontier Justice, Iraq, and George Bush the Vigilante:
"Justice? What do you care about justice? You don't even care whether you've got the right men or not. All you know is you've lost something and somebody's got to be punished...You butcher!" Howard Dean finally snapping and bitch slapping Donald Rumsfeld? Nope, Dana Andrews in the 1943 film The Ox-Bow Incident, just before he's lynched for a crime he didn't commit. After a well-respected rancher is shot and presumed murdered, a lynch mob gathers to find the killers and end up hanging three innocent men. Now, it's not too much of stretch here to say that the United States has become an outlaw country in the world. Remember: Iraq did not attack us and it was accused of violating a United Nations Resolution, but the body that made the resolution, you know, the U.N., decided that war was not the right action at this time. But the U.S., in good lynch mob fashion, with its lackeys in Great Britain (the mud-eating sidekick, usually played by Walter Brennan), decided to take the law into its own hands. So here we are, like every lynch mob in history, plagued with guilt, doubt, and recriminations upon some members, and ignorant clinging to lies and beliefs in "justice" among the others. The Ox-Bow Incident ends with the regretful people of the town taking up a collection out of their own pockets to take care of Andrews' family and the leader of the mob killing himself in agony over his decisions. Before he does, the man's son tells him, "I saw your face, it was the face of a depraved murderous beast. There are only two things that have ever meant anything to you, power and cruelty. You can't feel pity. You can't even feel guilt. In your heart, you knew those men were innocent, yet you were cold - crazy to see them hanged." No one's saying Saddam Hussein was an innocent man- he was an evil fucker who deserves an eternity of unlubricated sodomozings- but evil comes in many guises, sometimes even in the guise of doing good.