Antonin Scalia Needs a Blow Job Really Badly:
And, really, when a head is bobbing on one's crank, does it really matter if that head has five o'clock shadow or not? As long as its tongue is generous and its owner doesn't ignore one's balls? Because, really, and, c'mon, the pleasures of the blow job are multifaceted, maxi-sexual, and, well, you get the idea.

Or not, as apparently is the case with Supreme Court "Justice" Antonin Scalia. In a speech before another one of those on the seemingly fucking endless list of conservative think tanks, groups, and man-boy societies, Scalia held forth in "a mocking tone" on the Supreme Court's decision in the Lawrence v. Texas case, which said that, "You know what? Like most everyone in the free world, we six justices don't give a rat's ass who you consensually fuck and how. And you know what else? The state shouldn't give a rat's ass either" except they put it in lots of legalistic language that involves Latin. That decision was made on June 26 of this year, or as we at the Rude Pundit like to call it, "Sodomy Liberation Day."

But Scalia, joined by his butt boy and lawn jockey, Clarence Thomas, and corpse-that-walks William Rehnquist, in a brutal prison rape of a dissent, where, shaking with barely disguised S&M desire, Scalia declared that the Court had joined with the "homosexual agenda," which as far as can be understood, seems to be "Christ, can't you repressed straights leave us the fuck alone?"

So, here we are, all the way in October, and here's Scalia, speaking before the Intercollegiate Studies Institute, which promotes "Judeo-Christian moral standards," a shorthand way of saying that we'll follow all that peace shit in the New Testament when it suits us, but get all Old Testament vengeful on your fag ass if you fuck with us. And Scalia's leading the group of 800 in the Pledge of Allegiance, and then he tells the group, quivery with desire for the saggy-eyed docent of decency, that scholars are too "liberal" in their interpretations of the Constitution, reading the Lawrence decision in that wonderful jurisprudence tone of mock. Shortly after, Scalia returned to his waiting Lincoln Continental and chastised his driver, Clarence, for missing a smudge of wax on the hood. Clarence, filled with shame for himself and his race, promised swift cleaning and dropped his drawers for a proper spanking.

For the good of the nation, someone needs to hire a tall Latina she-male hooker to visit Scalia in his chambers and go down on the Justice while fingering his hemhorroidal asshole and swollen prostate so that Scalia may experience the ejaculatory joy that is living in the real goddamn world.