Photos That Make the Rude Pundit Want to Unironically Down a Case of PBR:

That's John McCain speaking at the annual biker's rally in Sturgis, South Dakota, where several hundred thousand badasses and wannabe badasses and titty-watchers gather each year to celebrate biker culture, listen to has-been Southern rock bands, and watch titties. One might imagine there were more than a few Confederate flags a-flyin'.

But, hey, shit, McCain wants some working class cache', then he can leave one of his family's seven houses to stand on a stage next to Kid Rock's equipment at the Buffalo Chip Campground and work it. Said McCain, "As you know, not long ago a couple hundred thousand Berliners made a lot of noise for my opponent. I'll take the roar of 50,000 Harleys every day." Which would be awesome, except that only 20,000 people, out of the estimated half-million available, showed up, most of them on foot.

It was an odd place for McCain to speak on energy policy, and perhaps even odder for him to talk about how loathsome $4 a gallon gasoline was, considering that he was encouraging the bikers to waste gas to rev an engine for the Maverick. Nothing against the bikers: we all choose to spend money on the things that bring us joy - stereos, expensive vodka, clothes. Gas and oil for one's hog is no different than a wine connoisseur stocking up the cellar, and we all gotta deal when the price of our sins rises.

Then, in a disturbing repetition of the word "drill," McCain declared, "I'll tell you that when I'm president, we're not going to be paying $4 for gas. We're going to drill offshore, and we're going to drill now. My opponent doesn't want to drill. He doesn't want nuclear power. He wants you to inflate your tires." Which, for a bunch of bikers who, you know, understand this shit and keep their tires properly inflated for safety and gas mileage, probably wasn't quite the smackdown McCain wanted it to be.

McCain then went on to encourage wife Cindy to compete in the bikers' beauty pageant, offering, "I told her, with a little luck, she could be the only person ever to serve as first lady and Miss Buffalo Chip." Would she have excelled at the bikini, the lingerie, or the biker gear competition? And if she won, could we then expect a First Lady who was "essentially...topless...And occasionally bottomless, too"?

Of course, John McCain won't have to pay any price for making an appearance at an event known and celebrated for its public drunkenness and fucking for an audience, not to mention dressing like (and in some cases actually being) outlaws. Imagine if it was a bunch of black people doing this, booty-shakin' in thongs, wearing gang colors, and downing 40s, and Barack Obama showed up to speak, and you pretty much can assume that Bill O'Reilly's neck veins would pop and shower his set with arterial spray. But because it's good ol' boys and girls? Well, that's just goddamn American fun.

Yes, it was a fine day for the McCain campaign, with the candidate suggesting that his wife strip for the crowd and saluting the waste of gas, saying of the roar of engines, "It’s the sound of freedom," and, of course, dependency on foreign sources of oil.