Ann Coulter's Cream Pie:
Okay, the Rude Pundit can't let this one pass. In straight porn films, as in life, there's only so many ways a man can ejaculate: he can blow his load all over the face, back, or stomach of a woman - what is referred to as "the money shot"; or he can shoot a wad into whatever orifice is in use. Should said semen be ejaculated into a vagina or sphincter, what has been created is known as a "cream pie." It's all highly technical, involving extensive training and use of jargon, to be sure, but hopefully you can follow. We're not talkin' Foucault here. Well, maybe we are. Anyways . . .
So it was that Ann Coulter, conservative columnist (if by "column," you mean "bizarre belches of bitchery"), was attacked in Tucson, Arizona by men wielding cream pies. Coulter, notable for her crazed rantings about Democrats who believe in conspiracies involving "oily Jews," was not hurt in the attack. Said Coulter, "You call that a cream pie? Goddamn, the last time I let the Carlyle Group board run a train on me at the Ritz after a corporate speaking gig, now that was a cream pie" or words to that effect.
And thus, the punchline given, it becomes painfully obvious why the definition was needed.