President Stupid:
The Rude Pundit may be vastly misinterpreting this part of the debate last night, but did President Bush say that he fucked an Iraq War widow in the White House? Here's Bush, trying to demonstrate how much he cares about American soldiers dying in Iraq: " I think about Missy Johnson. She's a fantastic lady I met in Charlotte, North Carolina. She and her son Brian, they came to see me. Her husband PJ got killed. He‘d been in Afghanistan, went to Iraq. You know, it's hard work to try to love her as best as I can, knowing full well that the decision I made caused her loved one to be in harm's way." So, like, using the Led Zeppelin test of the word "love," it appears that George W. Bush fucked Missy Johnson in the White House in front of her four year-old son. Wow. That's a man who really, really cares about the soldiers. New ad: President Bush: He'll send you to die, he won't attend your funeral, but he'll gently fuck your wife.

The Rude Pundit may be baffled by the rhetoric, but did the President actually say that he understands how "hard" war is because he watches it on TV? Said Bush, "And it's hard work. I understand how hard it is. I get the casualty reports every day. I see on the TV screens how hard it is." Motherfuck, the Rude Pundit occasionally watches Fear Factor, and he wouldn't claim he understands how hard it is to eat a pickled pig sphincter, let alone fight an urban war. And what TV screens is he watching? 'Cause, you know, unless he's been watching a bootleg DVD or download of Fahrenheit 9/11 or is tuned into Al-Jazeera, Bush ain't been seein' jackshit about what's really going on over in Iraq. When Bush is crouched down behind a burning Humvee trying to hold in the ripped-up guts of his buddy, trying to figure out when to time a run for help so he doesn't get shredded by the bullets whizzing all around him, then he can claim he understands how hard it is to be a soldier in a war. (In one of those "Goddamnit, Kerry" moments of screaming at the television, Kerry should have fired back at Bush, "You watch it on TV? Lemme show you a scar in my leg and you tell me who understands better how hard war is.")

The moment passed by in a blur, but did the President really say of his twins, "I'm trying to put a leash on them"? You see, context is a motherfucker. And you can't really talk about leashing humans without invoking Abu Ghraib, now, can you? Tempting an image as leashed Bush daughters down on all fours in the Rose Garden may be, you're really demonstrating just how unaware you are of the world you've created if you think you can make a leashing joke right about now. Kerry's reply, dry, but pointed, was, "I've learned not to do that."

Beyond the widow-fucking, daughter-leashing, TV-watching ways of the leader of the free world, really, and, c'mon, what we watched last night was a stupid man, our President. A petulant little rich fuck who had deigned to step down from his carefully scripted and stage managed events in order to dirty his shoes in the act of defending his policies. A privileged snotnose who couldn't be bothered with explaining himself, who was right simply because he said he was right and we can all go fuck ourselves if we believe otherwise. A king, don't you know. An emperor. And we saw through his fuckin' clothes, man, and what we saw was someone who flails and casts about for some point, desperately hoping for his two-minute answers to end, bumbling and fumbling until some name or wandering fact appeared in the miasma of his alcohol-damaged mind that he could spout out to comfort all of us that he actually knows something about his chosen profession. It's like when an inexperienced waiter appears at your table and tries to tell you the specials by heart, trying so fucking hard not to look at his cheat sheet, and when one word clicks in his head, like, say, "Short ribs," the waiter can then spout off about the sauce and sides. So it was with Bush, when he'd give that "Mr-President-We're-Under-Attack" look, staring into the distance as if Jesus was gonna spell the answers out in stars, floundering and drowning until the word "Allawi" or "Vladimir" bounced into his mouth and his synapses would generate the electricity that would prompt him into some rant or another.

The Rude Pundit was no fan of Ronald Reagan or George Bush, Sr., but you never got the feeling that they were actually, deep in their souls, stupid. You may have despised every word that they spoke, but you couldn't accuse them of simply being unable to comprehend the world around them. Watching W. last night sputter, stammer, smirk, squint, and sigh, one had to feel a deep unease at seeing this semi-coherent man fail at explaining away the deep failures of his administration's foreign policy. (And if someone doesn't make an ad of all of Bush's little quirky facial expressions and eye-rolling, then someone's not paying attention.)

John Kerry wasn't perfect. He misspoke (what was that about giving nuclear material to Iran?), he didn't deliver any great put-downs (and, Lord, oh, fuckin' lord, the opportunities were legion), and he missed several opportunities to demonstrate the lies of the Bush campaign (why the fuck didn't he bring up Bush's threatened veto of the $87 billion?). But Kerry looked like the goddamned President of the United States. He looked and spoke like the leader of a nation of nearly 300 million people, not the guy you don't even trust with the beer money for the keg party.

And when Kerry went to town, Kerry fucked Bush's shit up. Kerry took the Rude Pundit's advice and invoked the words of Bush, Sr., which was the first time in the debate that W. got agitated. Kerry demonstrated a command of concisely explaining a complex history and a strong position with his review of pre-Bush II policies toward North Korea. And Kerry kicked Bush's ass all over the stage on his answers to Darfur. Bush looked like such a small, small man each time he had to speak after Kerry, as if his artificially enhanced cock was retreating deeper and deeper into his body, which hunched over, turtle like, trying to withdraw from the scene.

This was the debate on foreign policy and homeland security, Bush's alleged strong areas. Kerry stood tall. He can't help it; he's a tall man. Bush tried to make himself smaller and smaller, as if he could make himself disappear and we could pretend he wasn't even there.

Quick P.S.: Someone's Paying Attention:
The DNC already has a video on its website called "The Faces of Frustration." Thanks to astute reader Nick for the heads up.