WSJ Writer Says Liberals Hate Trump Because "He's an Average American" (No, Really)

Wall Street Journal writer and name that seems to have an extra syllable, David Gelernter, writes about "The Real Reason They Hate Trump" in a "column" today (if by "column," you mean, "a straw man argument by a noodle-brained author"). The "they" is me and people like me and probably you, the left, liberals, the Bolsheviks, whatever the fuck they're calling us these days in the WSJ.

Gelernter, "a computer science professor at Yale and chief scientist at Dittach LLC," according to the bio, asserts that "Mr. Trump reminds us who the average American really is." Apparently, the "average American" is some fake working class rube who is kinda dumb and shoots his mouth off whenever he damn well pleases and likes to spend money (even though, you know, most working-class yokels don't have money). While Gelernter freely admits that Trump is really "a parody of the average American," which means he's performative and inauthentic and distinctly not genuine, he sure thinks liberals are assholes for not loving him. "I believe...that the Trump-hater truly does hate the average American—male or female, black or white," he writes. "Often he hates America, too."

What is most honestly stunning about Gelernter's really fuckin' weird piece is that almost every single thing he cites as a quality in Trump is simply, factually wrong. For instance, he says the left hates Trump for "his unwillingness to walk away from a fight, his bluntness, his certainty that America is exceptional, his mistrust of intellectuals, his love of simple ideas that work, and his refusal to believe that men and women are interchangeable."

Let's break this down:
"His unwillingness to walk away from a fight" - It's as if Gelernter has never heard of Trump's quisling behavior towards Russia or his abject abandonment of anything like a policy with North Korea or his refusal to even define a fight with Saudi Arabia. He has backed down on family separation, shutting down the government, scrapping NAFTA, Mexico paying for the wall, and multiple other things. He runs away from any fight where he doesn't hold all the cards, and he sure as hell doesn't get into any scuffles when it's with those who are his personal financial benefactors, the nation be damned.

"His mistrust of intellectuals" - Trump doesn't mistrust intellectuals. He only trusts the ones who reaffirm his Manichean world view. Like, you know, David Gelernter, who doesn't believe that climate change is due to human activity and thinks that the left is imposing a hateful doctrine on innocent college students, who is called an "anti-intellectual" despite being a motherfucking computer scientist at Yale, which would seem to make him a fucking intellectual. And Gelernter was considered for science advisor to Trump. You know what that's called? Trusting intellectuals, fucko.

"His love of simple ideas that work" - Gelernter must not have looked at any of the articles about the insane clusterfuck of labyrinthine layers Trump uses in order to cover up where his money comes from. See, "simple" would make it totally fine for him to release his taxes.

"His refusal to believe that men and women are interchangeable" - is fucking nonsense that only sexists assholes says in order to try to cover up the fact that they're sexist assholes.

(Note: I'm trying not to talk too much shit about Gelernter on a personal basis because the guy was almost killed by the Unabomber, so, you know, a bit of sympathy is in order. A bit.)

There is this absolutely desperate attempt on the right to make Donald Trump, someone who is at best a fraud, at worst an enabler of terrorism and other crimes, into something honorable. It's kind of pathetic, like the Washington Post's Marc Thiessen's recent piece, "Donald Trump's Balls Taste Like the Sweetest Candy." Oh, wait. No, that was the subtext. The actual title is "Trump could be the most honest president in modern history." And why is that? Because he said he was going to do some shit and he did it. What Thiessen sleazily leaves out of his piece is that each thing Trump promised to do that he's done has not had the effect he swore it would have, like that the tax cut would be great for everyone and tax revenue wouldn't be affected. Well, now Mitch McConnell is talking about cutting Social Security and Medicare to pay for it. That makes Trump a fucking liar.

See, the Left doesn't hate America. Built into the notion of "Make America Great Again" is a hatred of the country as it exists now (or 2 years ago because I guess America is great again because the president is white again). And conservatives and their anti-intellectual intellectuals have to stereotype liberals as having disdain for the working class. Gelernter gelernts, "The difference between citizens who hate Mr. Trump and those who can live with him—whether they love or merely tolerate him—comes down to their views of the typical American: the farmer, factory hand, auto mechanic, machinist, teamster, shop owner, clerk, software engineer, infantryman, truck driver, housewife. The leftist intellectuals I know say they dislike such people insofar as they tend to be conservative Republicans."

Motherfucker, there are people in every one of those jobs who fucking despise Trump. Do they hate the country, too? Do they count as "average" or is that only available to Trump voters? And it would take a computer scientist attempting political analysis  to write something this ludicrous: "Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama know their real sins. They know how appalling such people are, with their stupid guns and loathsome churches." You mean the same Barack Obama who, unlike a certain current president, regularly attended church with his family? Are you still pissed about his "God and guns" remark? But I thought you liked people who speak their fuckin' mind. You just fuckin' said that about Trump.

Once again, the Trumpian right reveals its deep, abiding disgust with anyone not worshipping their mad orange god. Oh, they can pretend they are willing to dance with the folks down in steerage, but it's almost always some privileged prick writing about how much he (and it's almost always "he") really gets the average American.

They only love regular folks when they enable Trump's greedy, ignorant, piggish agenda.