It's cronyism at its worst on display during the White House's latest Christmas video. Filmed with cutting edge Barney Cam technology, the short film follows the President's dog, Barney, and his bitch, Miss Beazley, as they attempt to finagle positions in their master's administration as Junior Park Rangers. Of course, this being the Bush White House, their obvious lack of experience or opposable thumbs is no impediment to the pair quickly being embraced by the frightening Mary Bomar, the Director of the National Park Service. They do, in fact, become Junior Park Rangers, a sacred duty. Expect the national forests to burn this coming year.There's so many sad elements in this video that it's hard to enumerate them all. There's the cat named "Kitty" so the President can easily identify its species. There's the heartbreaking realization that Jenna Bush sounds just like her father, so that pretty much kills that masturbation fantasy. There's the fact that young Barbara Bush appears not to know exactly how to pet a dog. There's Laura. There's the Secretary of the Interior promoting Bush's budgetary priorities to Barney. And there's Tony Blair. No, really, seriously, the former PM of the UK. Talking to George W. Bush's pet. Congratulating the dog. Saying, "As someone born in Edinburgh, Scotland, it's always good to see the Scots doing well." Somewhere, Winston Churchill felt his spirit bowels clench.
And, of course, the realization that, during what the President has called a war that will determine the progress of civilization as we know it, he found the time to make this video.
For extra Christmas fun, here's the text of the official White House Christmas card, according to Barbara Walters, who received it:
"You alone are the LORD
You made the heavens, even the highest heavens,
and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it,
the seas and all that is in them.
You give life to everything,
and the multitudes of heaven worship you."
Yeah, between the video and the card, such tidings for peace on Earth.
