Bush to Congress: "Thanks For the Iraq Blood Money, and, Hey, Fuck You":
Has any President ever been as much of a petulant cocksucker as George W. Bush? Motherfucker got war funding the way he wanted it in a budget bill that was, as ever, filled with pork like the fattest dumpling in Chinatown. This is nothing new. With nary a peep, Bush signed the 2005 budget, which took until December 2004 to pass, from the Republican-led Congress; it contained such tasty treats in it like almost $22.8 million for "Implementation and quantification of benefits of large-scale landscaping along freeways and interchanges in the Houston region" and $2.75 million to "renovate and expand" the National Packard Museum and its facilities in Warren, Ohio. Warren's member of Congress then, Republican Rob Portman, was not excoriated for wanting that fine automobile to have an even finer museum. And, to show how grateful it was to the nation that helped fund its Packer Museum, the district elected Jean Schmidt in 2005 when Portman became U.S. Trade Representative.
This year, though, Bush said, "I am disappointed in the way the Congress compiled this legislation, including abandoning the goal I set early this year to reduce the number and cost of earmarks by half. Instead, the Congress dropped into the bill nearly 9,800 earmarks that total more than $10 billion. These projects are not funded through a merit-based process and provide a vehicle for wasteful Government spending." You got that? See, finally, after years of winking and letting the Republican-led Congress tear through money like a Blackwater Humvee through the streets of Kirkuk, Bush made it a "goal" to cut earmarks in half. His Office of Budget and Management, previously known in the White House as "those poins and pinheads who think they know something about budgets when Dick Cheney really knows all," put up a site where you could get all seething and upset at things like, you know, a couple mill to renovate a fucking museum for a car.
By the way, the Bush administration considers FY 2005 as the "benchmark" for cutting earmarks by that magical 50%. As they were at least a little frightened of losing power in the upcoming election, in 2004, the Republican-led Congress acted like meth-addicted looters after an earthquake: "In fiscal year 2005, there were 13,492 earmarks totaling $18,944,327,000 for appropriations accounts." This year, in the first budget under the new Democratic-led Congress, there were, as Bush said, "nearly 9,800 earmarks" that came in at a little more than $10 billion. By any measure, that's a big damn cut. So, really and truly, George W. Bush and the bags of douche, who wander around like lamed bitch chihuahuas whining about "earmarks," can go eat a bowl of fuck.
'Cause, see, unless he gets everything he says he wants, George W. Bush will stomp his widdle feet. He's like the kid on Christmas morning who got a Wii but is throwing a fit because his Mom didn't get him some goddamn Zelda game to go with it. And, as ever, when Bush doesn't get his way, he'll fuckin' weasel his way out of, let's say, obeying the law: "Finally, this legislation contains certain provisions similar to those found in prior appropriations bills passed by the Congress that might be construed to be inconsistent with my Constitutional responsibilities. To avoid such potential infirmities, the executive branch will interpret and construe such provisions in the same manner as I have previously stated in regard to similar provisions." So it'll be signing statement-palooza, like usual, like back in 2005.
Earmark inclusions are the way the budget battle goes. $10 billion for, mostly, roads and other infrastructure improvement that the states desperately need in exchange for $70 billion to run a futile war no one wants for just a few months more. That's compromise at it's most cynical, and, truly, the pissy little president should count his fucking blessings that he isn't facing real opposition from the Democrats or anyone with guts from his own party.
