In Brief: Why Bill O'Reilly Ought To Be Sodomized With a Push Poll:
On his website, in heady anticipation of his upcoming book, Culture Warrior, the Fox "News" ball-eating host has a "quiz" to see if you are a "culture warrior" or a "secular-progressive." It's five simple yes or no questions to determine if you wanna tear the screamin' queeny heads off homos or if you wanna march in a queer pride parade next to Hillary Clinton.

Here's one of the questions: "Do you think suspected terrorists captured overseas are entitled to Geneva Convention protections-that is, the same rights that military people are afforded?" Yes or no, motherfuckers, c'mon.

The Rude Pundit scored "leaning heavily" toward secular-progressive (he answered "No" to one of the five questions). But he was still offered the golden opportunity to purchase a personalized autographed copy of Culture Warriors. He'd do it, but he's pretty sure O'Reilly won't put the message the Rude Pundit wants on the nameplate: "This book is dedicated to wiping asses in this fine bathroom until all that's left is the cover. Kisses, Bill O'Reilly."

Back later with more Friday rudeness.