Taquitos of the Damned: Orrin Hatch Is a Puta:
In one of the many faux gaucho bars that have entrances in stinky alleys between the buildings of Tijuana, there's a particularly dark, dank, death-smelling place called Los Republicanos. It's a gay leather bar where the Mexicans are rented out as man-whores to the voraciously horny, closeted queer white males who cross the border in order to partake in the joys of fucking or getting fucking by the prostitutes. See, the Mexican owner of the place is a shrewd drag queen, Glorioso Libertades, who knows that her clientele includes right wing Americans and conservative lobbyists who just wanna live a dream. So she has given her rent boys the names of different Republican members of Congress. That way, when, say, a Minuteman, fresh from patrolling the California border, wants to bust a nut, he can do it by getting blown by a skinny Mexican guy called "Tom Tancredo" or by fucking the generous ass and jowly face of an absurdly fat man named "James Sensenbrenner," giggling as his rolls of flesh undulate from the thrusting cock behind him. There was a "Duke Cunningham," but it just seemed redundant to have a fake one sodomized on a regular basis.

Glorioso charges more for the Senator-whores than for the Representative-bitches. A particularly popular Senator-whore is "Orrin Hatch," a true hermaphrodite in that he has both a dick and a pussy. "Orrin Hatch" can also take on different roles, being one of Glorioso's best performers: he can wield a whip, dominating an oil industry lobbyist by slapping the lobbyist's trembling balls into ejaculatory ecstasy. He can be the submissive, being tied up while five fundamentalist preachers penetrate every available orifice. Yes, "Orrin Hatch" is quite the Mexican man-whore. His most requested sexual favor, though, is a show, where he sits spread-eagled on a bed, takes his cock and bends it into his pussy so he can fuck himself.

So it was that Orrin Hatch was nowhere to be found in yesterday's Senate Judiciary Committee hearing on immigration reform, voting by proxy against the strangely civilized proposal put forth by Ted Kennedy and John McCain. Hatch's reasoning was that the temporary worker program in the bill amounted to "amnesty" for the people who mow his lawn, pick his fruit, wash his car, clean his toilets, cook his food, build his buildings, stock the shelves at his grocery store, etc, etc. The bill still passed the committee on a truly bipartisan vote of 11-6, and the Republicans in the cruel House of Representatives imploded with rage. Hatch's lackey blathered something about not rewarding people who break the law, which, considering Hatch's hackery for the adminstration, could be a definition of "irony."

The reason to focus on Hatch here is that the Utah Senator fell all over himself to praise Hispanics during the "debate" over the nomination of Alberto Gonzales as Attorney General. "We work with Hispanic people all over America who are every bit as devoted to our country as any citizen who has ever been in this country. I personally love Hispanic people," Hatch gushed, rubbing salsa all over his scrotum and taint in support. Then, in an amazingly prophetic threat, Hatch said of those who would not support Gonzales, "Frankly, I know my friends in the Hispanic community, and Hispanic people all over America, are watching this debate, and they are sensing something very unfair going on here." One might wonder what Gonzales, whose father was a migrant worker, might say about this. One might wonder what Hatch's "friends" in the Hispanic community might say.

Hatch is, after all, chair of the Republican Senatorial Hispanic Task Force, a group so significant that its only mentions are by Hatch himself. Hatch trotted out that title, a group and chair that Hatch created for Hatch, when Bill Clinton, at the savage end of his presidency, supported the "Latino and Immigration Fairness Act," which would have granted amnesty to some illegal immigrants.

Yes, Orrin Hatch loves Hispanics. As long as he doesn't have to actually support anything that might be meaningful to a majority of them.