Five Reasons Why Karl Rove Must Be Destroyed (Conclusion)
Reason #2: Because We Never Got To Destroy That Other Fucker, Lee Atwater
Sure, sure, when Lee Atwater, George Bush, Sr.’s political adviser and Karl Rove’s guru, discovered Jesus and Catholicism after he found out he had inoperable brain cancer, he became sorely sorry to everyone he had destroyed, defiled, and dicked over in his long career. But that vicious motherfucker didn’t suffer long enough for treating the body politick like a passed out crack whore that he could fuck as much as he wanted, in whatever hole he pleased, and not have to pay a dime.

From Willie Horton and his own eye-stinging hatred of Michael Dukakis, whom he called a "Commie pinko" (which was retro even in 1988, but Atwater loved branding Democrats as "communist") and about whom he spread rumors about Dukakis’s mental health and the mental health of his wife, to his dispersing of information about the distant pasts of candidates to trying to intimidate people on his side to attempting to smear Democratic House Speaker Tom Foley through implications of homosexuality, Lee Atwater was breathtaking in his beyond-Machiavellian tactics (and this is not to mention his work in the Reagan and Nixon administrations). Here’s Juan Williams, back in the New Year’s Eve, 1989 Washington Post, on Atwater: "Atwater stands out …because of his unabashed glee at using politics as soap opera under the rubric of news programming. His triumph was in joining politics and culture to open just the right closet of American anxieties over race, sex, violence and liberals to turn a boring candidate who was down by 17 percentage points into a runaway winner. Willie Horton wasn't Atwater's only achievement. He also broke ground by boldly taking crass cynicism about American voters to a new level by literally putting Bush in a flag factory for the TV cameras to record him swathed in red, white and blue. And he did not laugh out loud when they followed the scent like trained dogs."

Goddamn, how bad we wanted to wreck that wad of fuck. How much we regretted our failure.

Had we destroyed Atwater through, perhaps, an investigation of his consulting firm’s relationship with a man who looted Medicare funds, we wouldn’t be discussing Karl Rove, who took the lessons of Atwater’s savagery and interwove policy manipulation into it. See, whereas Atwater’s primary (though not exclusive) influence was in campaign mode, Rove has merged the tactics of brutally dishonest campaigning with the work of the executive branch and made them the modus operandi for the White House. (This is not to mention the relationship between Atwater and young George, Jr., who was Atwater's "minder" back in 1988 and learned a bit about manipulation and duplicity from Atwater.)

You know what? If Karl Rove is ever put into a cell, the Rude Pundit doesn’t want it to be with some three-strikes-and-yer-out, beefed-up Texas drug mule who needs some flabby cheeks to call his own. No, the Rude Pundit wants the slime-covered skeleton of Lee Atwater thrown in there with Rove. He wants Rove to have to stare, endlessly, into those empty cavities where eyes once were, smelling the fecund dirt scent, the foul and everlasting odor of rot and decay. Just to let him know that he, too, shall pass.

Reason #1: Destroying Karl Rove Will Destroy George W. Bush
The reason Rove must be destroyed - which means he needs to be sent up for something more than perjury because simply that would allow him to be a paid consultant for the rest of his life - is that a destroyed Rove would be a maelstrom in the White House. If you remove the center from a system, a system must collapse. And so would end the Bush presidency, for Bush without Rove is like a dalmatian without an owner - so stupid from overbreeding that if it ain't got someone to tell it what to do, it'll just sit in a corner and shit itself endlessly, licking its own anus out of fear and itch.