7/25/2005

A Big Ol' "Why?":
So let us say, and why not, that you've been tellin' everyone that you're gonna ask Margarita, your girlfriend, to marry you. You told Pablo, Raphael, Miguel, all the cholos down the block that you got a ring and you're gonna ask her for her hand. Word gets back to Margarita, except not in the way you want it. She comes up to you and says that Rico, her stepbrother's cousin who happens to be a jeweler, says you don't have a ring, that you been makin' that shit up, that your cheap ass couldn't afford no diamond.

Now there's a couple of ways of solvin' this problem: one is to talk about what a punk ass Mexican that Rico is. How Rico ain't no jeweler, just some department store asshole who pretends he knows shit. And, baby, who are you gonna believe? That little bitch Rico or me?

Of course, Margarita ain't stupid, yo. She knows that you wouldn't have to talk shit about Rico if you did one thing: show her the ring. Prove it. That's all: put up or shut up.

So, like, has this question been asked by the media and of the media: if Joseph Wilson was just outright wrong, why didn't the Bush administration just prove that Iraq was trying to buy yellowcake uranium from Niger? Put up or shut up.

Right wingers everywhere are mischaracterizing Wilson's findings, saying, for instance, that they "bolstered" British allegations on the uranium: says the monkeyfuck insane Ann Coulter, "His conclusion is contradicted by the extensive findings of the British government." Or they say that Wilson just was a lazy hack who didn't find out anything.

Why did Karl Rove and Scooter Libby bother trying to "help" reporters not work on stories about Wilson's findings? Why try to discredit Wilson if you can prove he's wrong? Why not just show the British findings? Damn, if that answer ain't about as obvious as a herpes sore on a hooker's lip, you deserve all the diseases you get.

You don't produce that ring, Margarita's gonna leave you right there on the sidewalk where you belong, you lyin' bastard. And you'll deserve it. Especially if Rico comes along and kicks your ass but good.