Dance, Mister Monkey President, Dance:
There he was, our fearless leader, George W. Bush, visiting England, the first official state visit by an American president since, like Woodrow Wilson. Yep, there he was, all decked out in tails, standing next to the Queen, looking like nothing so much as a monkey next to the hurdy-gurdy man. And there he was again, giving a speech on the "war" on terror and foreign policy, saying such funny monkey things, like "The people have given us the duty to defend them, and that duty sometimes requires the violent restraint of violent men." Then he repeated his tossing of his own shit at the rest of Europe by saying that the U.N. was "choosing its own irrelevance" by not following him in his charming little dance for political peanuts in Iraq. Of course, monkeys always go too far. They end up jacking off in public or drinking their own pee. So when Bush declared that European countries "should withdraw all favor and support from any Palestinian ruler who fails his people and betrays his cause, " he was sadly, predictably, met with silence, crickets, nothing.

Then, of course, you put a monkey at a press conference, and he's gonna do something to embarass you, like Bush did when standing next to Tony Blair, the President stated that he was willing to send more troops into Iraq if necessary. In a wonderful "D'oh" moment, the White House was forced to correct the impression that more troops might be sent by saying that no more troops would be sent. Oh, funny monkeys and the funny things they do when you let them off the little leash. Like Bush visiting the families of the British war dead when he hasn't visited any American families of war dead. Like demonstrating to the British public just what a little bitch Tony Blair is by not giving any quarter on the British citizens being held at Guantanamo. Do you think he understood a word of what he was talking about, Bush? Or was it like the mad jabbers of a tiny monkey, screeching in your ear?

Of course, all of this is mighty tough talk from a man who was kept in a hermetically-sealed bubble, without a sense of noblesse oblige towards any of the protests, including the one yesterday involving over 100,000 people. Nope. The President is a turn tail and run pussy, as his AWOL status showed so long ago. As the vast numbers of security around him that prevented him from every having to dirty his view with protesters showed. A bubble of ignorance, arrogance, denial.

Goddamn, the ghost of Republican colonizer Teddy Roosevelt must want to shove a large stick up Bush's ass. At least Roosevelt had the balls to fight for his raping of the world. Jesus, even former president, now book end, Ronald Reagan, had the guts to go out in public after he had been fucking shot. Not our Bush, though. Anything to keep him in the dark. Anything to assure us he continues to lead us and Great Britain into the darkness of the 21st century. No self-respecting zoo should have such a pathetic species of vermin-ridden monkey on display.