6/28/2011

A Note to Rep. Todd Akin on How Much Liberals Hate God:
Yes, GOP Rep. Todd Akin of Missouri, a man who looks like he last masturbated in 1984, to Mary Lou Retton at the Summer Olympics, you're absolutely right. When you said to Family Research Council President Tony "Man, This Gay Marriage Bullshit Has Allowed Me to Buy a Lexus" Perkins, "[A]t the heart of liberalism really is a hatred for God and a belief that government should replace God," you are absolutely fucking correct. In fact, liberals not only hate God, they want to rape God. They want to drag God out of the sky and fuck his holy asshole. Hard. They want to pull out and come on God's back and then make God lick their dicks clean. Liberal women want to use double-sided dildo strap-ons, one side shoved in their pussies and the other shoved into God's mouth so that God's sucking their stiff, plastic cocks. And they're tough, these liberal chicks, 'cause they're gonna punch God in the face while he's blowing the strap-ons, they're gonna tell 'em to make it look real, to choke on it, yeah, fucker, 'cause they hate him so fucking much.

No, seriously, the Rude Pundit's glad that you didn't apologize, Rep. Akin, because, as you said, "I’m not going to apologize for what I see liberalism doing in trying take God out." That's right, motherfucker. Liberals are trying to take him out. Three bullets to the back of his skull in an alley behind St. Peter's. 'Cause if he ain't all powerful enough to stop liberals from kicking his ass out of government, then he ain't powerful enough to stop a Glock from sprayin' brains all over the Vatican.

It was helpful that your aide clarified what you meant. "Conservatives believe rights are granted by God and it is the responsibility of government to aid in protecting them" is what communications director Steve Taylor said. And "Liberals believe rights are granted by government...Congressman Akin believes those two concepts define the basic debate between the two ideologies."

That's fucking great. Welcome to the Bachmann School of American History. So essentially, your ideology says that kings and tyrants are more powerful than God. Or that God is such a cunt that he doesn't care if some people get to use the rights he grants while others have those rights cock-blocked by other people. That's the follow-through on Akin's conservative belief, no? Whereas god-fearing liberals believe that people take care of people shit and God takes care of God shit and thus God can just stay above it all. Like a good grandmother, not a molesting uncle. (By the way, atheist politicians of both parties don't give a fuck, but mostly they have to pretend that they do.)

So, sure, Toddster, if you're going to say that liberals hate God, then, fuck, have your God do something about it. Or is he just that much of a pussy?