Sarah Palin's Magic Bus:

You see that thing up there? That sweet ride all pimped out to show that its occupants are so got-damn Uhmerkan that everyone else can suck their patriotic fumes? That shit's so sick that it's got the motherfuckin' Constitution, words from the Pledge o' Allegiance, and purple motherfuckin' mountains majesty, like Lady Liberty's titties just thrustin' up all hard and ready for pinchin'. And who gives a damn if it looks like the tires are running over the American flag and gettin' it all muddy on rainy days? This is Sarah Palin's Magic Bus, motherfuckers, with her autograph next to the Liberty Bell. Yeah, lick the stiletto heels of her red, white, and blue pumps, bitches, and love it.

Imagine all the hot-ass groupie sex she'll be havin' in the back of the bus on her grand and glorious journey to "historical sites" all over the Northeast of the U.S.A. Man, you could fit at least three teabagger Hoverounds on that, and Sarah and Todd can get all freaky fucking the fat folds of their fans. Oh, yeah, rubbing clit on some manboobs, pokin' dick in that crease between dangling ass cheek and dimply thigh, while snorting Metamucil off the counter. It'll be like Motley Crue back in the day, except with more oxygen tanks and moist-crotched running pants. Groupies rock.

And, surely, the Magical Mystery Tour bus will stop at battlefields and monuments, Bunker Hill and the Lincoln Memorial, so Palin can nasally talk all about "freedom" and "rights" and "people doing things without government telling them what to do," the same bullshit that gets her slaveringly dumb followers all drippy and semi-hard, as she keeps SarahCo profitable for another quarter or two while she teases them with promise of an ass-reaming with the dildo of her presidential ambitions.

Memorial Day weekend 2011 in America, motherfuckers, kickin' off a long hot bitch of a summer.

(Note: You know that chances are this crazy kooz is gonna be private jetting into each town and then meeting up with the magic bus.)