5/16/2011

Photos That Give the Rude Pundit Swollen Lymph Nodes:


That up there is former presidential candidate and current ex-preacher, ex-governor, TV personality, and man who hears voices in his head, Mike Huckabee. He's on bass. On guitar is former semi-famous rock star and current assassination-fantasizing weapons enthusiast Ted Nugent. They are on Huckabee's Fox "news" program, the one with the convenient name of Huckabee. It's on Saturday night, which means it's for shut-ins and people in comas.

This song is what happened before the former presidential candidate announced that he would remain former. Jesus apparently told him, "Look, there's no fuckin' way your cracker ass is beatin' the black guy." When one gets such advice, one should heed it. Huckabee, not a stupid man, did so.

But Huckabee jammed with Nugent on the Cretin from Michigan's "hit" song, "Cat Scratch Fever." Some of the lyrics are: "I make the pussy purr with/ The stroke of my hand/ They know they gettin' it from me/ They know just where to go/ When they need their lovin' man/ They know I do it for free." It is a song about fucking a woman in her vagina with one's fingers or penis.

It might seem an odd, even hypocritical, song choice for a man who calls himself "evangelical" to play to an audience of zombies, since one assumes that the fucking of said pussy did not necessarily involve marriage. But, as a way of saying that he didn't give a fuck how anything could be interpreted, it was perhaps the clearest sign that Huckabee was out.

(This is not even to get into the bullshit hypocrisy of having Nugent on Fox while every other anchor was bitching about Common laying down some rhymes at the White House.)

(Note: It's not really worth noting, but Trump's out, too. His TV program, Wipe My Ass With Your Pride, continues.)