Ben Stein Rapes Himself:
Can we stop pretending that Nixon speechwriter Ben Stein is anything other than another savage buffoon of the right? Can we stop hearing his stoned-out monotone as a delightful character voice that appears in children's cartoons, fer chrissake, and realize that it's merely the soul-dead flatness of the sociopath?

Here's what Stein, who, by some accounts, is a raging lunatic asshole whose voice gets hysterically screechy when he's in an argument or he gets punched in the balls, wrote in the conservative magazine American Spectator (motto: "We're what happened when William F. Buckley fucked a sow") defending accused rapist Dominique Strauss-Kahn, he of the IMF and who, even prior to these allegations, was le grand douchebag:

1. "If he is such a womanizer and violent guy with women, why didn't he ever get charged until now?" There's an entire ocean of breathtaking ignorance in that sentence. Has he never heard of his fellow Ferris Bueller's Day Off actor, Charlie Sheen? Has he never heard of, say, any of the entire history of violence against women?

2. "People who commit crimes tend to be criminals, for example. Can anyone tell me any economists who have been convicted of violent sex crimes?" Hmm. Well, let's see. University of Pennsylvania economist and professor Rafael Robb bludgeoned his wife to death, but that didn't involve sex, per se. But prior to that, Robb had not dishonored the profession of economisting. Besides, he's from Israel, so he probably gets a pass from Stein and the American Spectator, who lick Bibi's taint like it's candy.

3. "Did he really have to be put in Riker's Island?" Short answer: yes. Stein's right: Strauss-Kahn does deserve to be presumed innocent until proven guilty. And he's right when he says, "In what possible way is the price of the hotel room relevant?" Of course, if the price of the hotel room, and thus the economic class of the accused rapist, doesn't matter, then why should he be treated differently than any other accused rapist? Why does he deserve the expense of "home detention with a guard" and Johnny Poorboy does not?

Fuck the rest of Stein's sexist, elitist, bullshit "argument." Let's just put the final nail in the coffin of this fucker's idiotic career that has stretched way beyond its expiration date. Here's what Ben Stein, the great defender of the rights and treatment of the accused, like James O'Keefe, said in 2004 about the Abu Ghraib scandal: "Now we're in Iraq. Once we're there, we have to protect innocent life from terrorists. That means interrogating prisoners whom [sic] we think are terrorists, sometimes harshly." See that? Harshly interrogate prisoners on the belief, without proof, that they might be terrorists? As we beat and degraded them, many of whom were not even accused of a crime, let alone charged, Stein insisted, "We are the good guys."

Yeah, you gotta have principles in this world, don't ya?

Man, Stein pretty much just fucked himself with this column. No, he raped himself. He slapped himself, tackled himself to the ground, and fucked his own ass unwillingly. Quite a sight.