One More Goddamn Birther Post:
Here's the thing about Donald Trump: you can call him a "puke-sucking, human-shaped lump of shit who jacks off while getting fucked in the ass by sweaty sumo wrestlers" and he'd just thank you for the attention. So there's nothing bad you can say about the lying garbage heap because he doesn't care. What you can say is that anyone who gave a goddamn what he has to say about anything any time is a fucking imbecile. If you take your political advice from the man who "fired" LaToya Jackson from a fake job on a shitty TV show with a straight face, then you pretty much deserve whatever terrible things are coming your way.

Yesterday, we were greeted to the media version of a police stop and frisk. For the crime of presidenting while black, Barack Obama was forced to prove his innocence. The whole spectacle of the release of the so-called "long-form" birth certificate and Obama's speech after was degrading to all of us. In one way, the White House paid a ransom to the racists who were constantly attacking him. In another, it was a rather masterful political move by the White House: let's call a bluff and demonstrate just how irrational these fuckers are. Oh, and let's get a shitload of sympathy from the the left, who have been kicking our asses lately. Because this liberal Obama critic felt nothing but sympathy for the man yesterday for being told, as others have eloquently put it, to show us your papers. What a childish nation we are.

How mind-boggling is this? And how sadly not unexpected. And what's also sadly not unexpected is the reaction from the birthers. It's a forgery, it's not enough, it needs to go through forensics testing, what about his grades, what about his Social Security number, what about his Muslim connections, what about, what about, show us, show us. Seriously, could you guys just start saying, "That uppity nigger should be lynched"? Could you say that you're all het up because he looked at Hillary Clinton funny? Could you just stop pretending that anything else - anything else - is going on here other than that you hate black people with power? Because what you're doing is asking someone to prove shit when you don't have a scintilla of real evidence to support the crime you're accusing Obama of committing. What's next? Dig up his dead father to get DNA samples?

Shit, could Obama just get an intern to blow him in the Oval Office? Because, at this point, that fucking debacle makes sense. Hell, calling Bill Clinton a coke-snorting murderer just seems quaint.

Last night, the Rude Pundit was driven to MSNBC in a very big SUV that lacked a bar. The chauffeur asked what the Rude Pundit was going to talk about on the news network. When he said the birth certificate nonsense, the chauffeur went on about how it's a fake, how Obama "lies" all the time. "Every word out of his mouth is a lie," he said when the Rude Pundit asked him for one example. So of course the birth certificate was another lie. "Why did he keep it secret? What does he not release his marks in school?" the driver went on. He parroted every conspiracy website, every Fox "news" bullshit meme, every talk radio talking point: Obama gets all his power from illegal immigrants; Obama uses Chicago-style political tactics (which really just means "Democrats not acting like pussies"); and, of course, of course, Obama is a Muslim who is obviously attempting to destroy America with tactics straight out of Mein Kampf. Oh, and liberals want to kill all their enemies. It was fucking surreal.

So, yeah, we have a bigger birth certificate. But those who despise the president for existing don't give a happy monkey fuck and will continue to challenge Obama's legitimacy until he declares he is white. Otherwise, if they accepted the birth certificate and moved the fuck on, they'd have to deal with "issues" and use their so-called "brains."

By the way, on the way home, the same driver was bemoaning the treatment of Sarah Palin's children by the media. When the Rude Pundit pointed out how right-wingers talked about Chelsea Clinton, the driver said, "Well, she has terrible parents. And she was kind of ugly."

By the way, the one thing the Rude Pundit and the chauffeur agreed on was, as he put it, "Donald Trump is an ass."